IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The map shows Southside, a shopping mall, as it is now, and plans for its development. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The map shows Southside, a shopping mall, as it is now, and plans for its development. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#minutes #southside #mall #plans #development #summaries #information #features #comparison
The given map illustrates information about
comparison
Correct article usage
the comparison
show examples
 of
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 and future of Southside shopping mall.
In
Change preposition
Overall
show examples
overall
,
this
 shopping
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 will expand
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
 size in planned development,
as a result
, there are some places
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
show examples
be vanished
Change to the active voice
vanish
have vanished
show examples
. It is crystal clear that between these two pictures, we can see many additional buildings.
To begin
 with, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of shops
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 fashion
clothings
Change the wording
clothing
items of clothing
articles of clothing
show examples
,
footwears
Fix the agreement mistake
footwear
show examples
 and beauty products
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
show examples
 be built in future development. In the second place, another entrance is added to
department
Add an article
the department
a department
show examples
 store.
Lastly
,
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 park which locates in
south
Add an article
the south
show examples
 is expanded and occupied all of
south
Add an article
the south
show examples
 side.
On the other hand
, some properties are disappeared
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the plan,
for instance
, noodle
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
, movie
theaters
Change the spelling
theatres
show examples
 and playing
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
Moreover
, outside of Southside, there was a golf
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
course and park but in
plan
Add an article
the plan
a plan
show examples
, it will be changed to
shopping
Add an article
the shopping
a shopping
show examples
 mall. In relation to the size of
shopping
Add an article
a shopping
the shopping
show examples
 mall,
cafe
Add an article
the cafe
show examples
 is replaced by
info
Correct article usage
an info
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
Finally
Add a comma
,Finally
show examples
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
show examples
 and
restroom
Fix the agreement mistake
restrooms
show examples
 remain unchanged.
Submitted by llbayarmaa on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼

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