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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#improvements #today’s #health #care #society #people #numbers
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It is true that advanced medical technology
as well as
 sufficient nutrient sources expand the average lifespan of
people
 in the world, fostering a great number of elderly
people
. Despite
such
 trends provoking various downsides in societies, I personally believe that with the help of modern technologies, it is possible to well manage an incremental population of elderly
people
. On the one hand, nations that accounted for a large proportion of old individuals could lead to various drawbacks, including the shortage of workers in the medical field, which decreases the quality of treatment.
For example
, many aged care centres in suburban areas indicate a drastic ratio between health workers and residents, which can barely fulfil the basic need to survive, regardless of the quality of life.
Moreover
, the majority of public facilities are not friendly for old
people
 who live alone,
such
 as shops with too many stairs and lack of public toilets in many areas, which enhance the restriction on their living range. 
On the other hand
, I am in favour of the idea that progress in artificial technologies could cope with the majority of current issues. First of all, old
people
 with chronic diseases are able to see doctors from home to deter them from accessing patients with contaminated diseases.
For instance
, during the pandemic, many hospitals in Taiwan provide services for non-emergency patients to contact doctors at home to minimise the risk.
Secondly
, many commercial institutions provide robots to examine the health condition of individuals at home 24 hours every day to ensure that emergency situations could be coped
in
Change preposition
with in
show examples
 time. Which could ensure the safety of old
people
 who live by themselves. To summarise, it is inevitable that an incremental population will continue in the future, which will cause various downsides,
however
, in my perspective, modern technologies are able to reduce the impacts derived from
such
 trends,
along with
 it, solve correlative problems.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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