IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You are looking for a part-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: - introduce yourself - explain what sort of job you would like - say what experience and skills you have

#job #employment #agency #sort #skills
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Dear Sir or Madam, I hope that you are doing well. The purpose of writing
this
Linking Words
 letter is to express my interest
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a part-time job. Myself Ruchin Patel, an experienced
sales
Use synonyms
 specialist.
Besides
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 that, I
also
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 hold a diploma in marketing with honours from the University of Toronto.
Additionally
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, I have a keen interest in online content creation related to
sales
Use synonyms
as well as
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 marketing.
Therefore
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, I am looking for a part-time opportunity that aligns with my interest in both fields.
Such
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 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Sales
Use synonyms
 Representative, Marketing Executive,
as well as
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Sales
Use synonyms
 Analyst.
however
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, I am
also
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 open to other jobs that could be a great learning for my career.
Moreover
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, my
last
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 employment was with Apple as a
Sales
Use synonyms
 Specialist, where I worked for just over three years. There I have leveraged my skills in
sales
Use synonyms
 by improving customer experience and communication about products. I hope that you will find a suitable company for me that aligns with my portfolio. Thank you for your time and consideration. Sincerely, Ruchin Patel
Submitted by ruchin27 on

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writing tone
Ensure consistent capitalization, especially in professional titles.
language accuracy
Try to avoid minor grammatical mistakes, such as missing articles or incorrect verb tenses.
suitable writing tone
The letter maintains a polite and professional tone throughout.
logical structure
Logical structure is present, with clear paragraphs for introduction, main content, and conclusion.
task response
Specific job types and personal experiences are well-explained and directly related to the request.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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