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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe these measures restrict our individual freedom.Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

#cities #video #cameras #places #crime #people #measures #freedom #security
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Presently, The number of
video
Use synonyms
cameras
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public places
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 rising in order to decrease crime.
However
Linking Words
, some individuals argue that it must have
sabotage
Wrong verb form
sabotaged
show examples
 our individual freedom. In the following
essay
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,essay
show examples
 I will discuss the pros and cons of utilizing
video
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
camera
Fix the agreement mistake
cameras
show examples
over
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the city. One of the main benefits of using
video
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
camera
Fix the agreement mistake
cameras
show examples
 is that even robbers and
criminals
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 may pay attention to the CCTV because they do not want to be caught by the
police
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.
Therefore
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, it may increase the
security
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 level in the areas.
As a result
Linking Words
 it not only helps the civilians, but
also
Linking Words
 it helps the shop owners to increase their property’s
security
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 level. Another positive aspect of using
video
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
camera
Fix the agreement mistake
cameras
show examples
 in the city is that
criminals
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 would be tracked easily by
police
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. If something terrible
happen
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happens
show examples
 in the area the
camera
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 could help in order to recognize
a
Correct article usage
the
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 person who committed
this
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 crime.
For example
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, if a murderer
kill
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kills
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 the victim.
Police
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 may use
surveillances
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surveillance
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 and
video
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cameras
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 to detect who is behind
this
Linking Words
 tragedy.
However
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, one of the downsides of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
using
surveillances
Fix the agreement mistake
surveillance
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 is that it may
has
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have
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 penetrated
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
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’s personal life. Some
people
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does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not want to be checked and monitored 24 hours all the time.
For instance
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, every physical movement of
people
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 and recruiters in banks
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 checked with
cameras
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, which is kind of disturbing to some
people
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.
Hence
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, it would be necessary that these
cameras
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monitoring
Wrong verb form
monitor
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 everything because it is related to social
security
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. Even though, some
people
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 critic about these
cameras
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, they must have
understand
Change the verb form
understood
show examples
 the gravity of
situation
Add an article
the situation
show examples
. In conclusion, in fact, using
security
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cameras
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 might be essential and useful
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such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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as the majority of
criminals
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 may pay attention to these
surveillances
Correct your spelling
surveillance
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camera
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.
Linking Words
Moreover
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,Moreover
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criminals
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 may be tracked easily by
police
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.
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it has some disadvantages
such
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 as some civilians do not want to be monitored everywhere they go.
Submitted by mohammad.saffarian on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Surveillance cameras
  • Public safety
  • Deterrent
  • Evidence collection
  • Apprehend perpetrators
  • Public spaces
  • Invasion of privacy
  • Civil liberties
  • Abuse of power
  • Misuse
  • Cost implications
  • Monitoring
  • Maintenance
  • Essential services
  • Justice system
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