In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this? (Write 250 words.)

Poor and Rich
countries
have gained benefits from economic development
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
recent years.
However
, It is true that some wealthy
countries
are
dissatisfy
Wrong verb form
dissatisfied
show examples
compared to their status in the past.
This
essay will explain why
this
situation can
occurred
Change the verb form
occur
show examples
and what is the lesson from
this
Firstly
, the
unhappy
Replace the word
unhappiness
show examples
of various nations,
were
Correct pronoun usage
which were
show examples
richer
as a result
of economic expansion,
have
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
related to global
issues
for decades.
For instance
, the financial
crisis
, the pandemic of
covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
or diseases, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international conflicts and wars. These
issues
have impacted to global economy since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
world war I
was occurred
Change to the active voice
occurred
have occurred
show examples
. The developed and developing
countries
are
also
affected
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
their economy.
According to
some research, these types of crises could happen in every decade. To illustrate, the pandemic of covid-19 in 2019 extremely affected
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
global economies.
This
can lead to economic slowed down in many
countries
, including
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of wealthy nations
such
as the US and EU member
countries
.
Therefore
,
this
crisis
can lead to
dissatisfy
Replace the word
the dissatisfaction
show examples
of well-off
countries
that have lost amount of money from tourism and international trade. In
this
connection, the lesson that we learned from emerging
issues
is being well-prepared even
the
Correct word choice
if the
show examples
crisis
will not happen. To highlight my point, the
uncertain
Replace the word
uncertainty
show examples
of life can
be happen
Change the verb form
happen
show examples
every day. If we are not ready to encounter them, we will lose our own interests like during the financial
crisis
or pandemic of diseases which directly impact
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our living.
To conclude
, the common
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
about developed
countries
is always unhappy with their status of economy. They try to enhance their economies and seek the interests
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
their nations.
On the other hand
, some
issues
are able to disrupt their economic growth so
well-prepared
Correct article usage
a well-prepared
show examples
plan is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
interesting solution for many
countries
.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Focusing on clearer and more direct sentence structures can aid in enhancing the readability and coherence of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Incorporate a more varied range of cohesive devices and transition words to better link ideas and paragraphs for a more smooth and logical flow.
Task Achievement
It is pivotal to thoroughly answer the question by explicitly addressing all parts of the task. Ensure you provide a balanced discussion of both the reasons for dissatisfaction in wealthy countries and learning from these situations.
Task Achievement
Incorporating specific examples and evidence that directly support your points will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Consider refining your introduction and conclusion to more effectively mirror your essay's argument and key points. A clear thesis statement and summary of main points can significantly enhance your task achievement score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: