In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this? (Write 250 words.)

Recent

Change preposition

In recent

show examples

times

society

Punctuation problem

, society

show examples

,economic development

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

made an increase in

number

Correct article usage

the number

show examples

wealth

Replace the word

wealthy

show examples

people,both in developed and developing

countries

Use synonyms

Nevertheless

Linking Words

,those in developed

countries

Use synonyms

are less happy when compared they were in the past.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the main

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

why they are feeling and what can

learned

Verb problem

be learned

show examples

about status.

Nowadays

Punctuation problem

Nowadays,

show examples

many

countries

Use synonyms

expanded

Verb problem

have expanded

show examples

in the fast-paced world. A primary factor is

the

Correct word choice

that the

show examples

market competition intensifies as economic

developed

Replace the word

development

show examples

, leading to working overtime and an imbalance between work and life.

This

Linking Words

reason the population

increasingly

Verb problem

is increasingly

show examples

busy and overwhelmed

not

Punctuation problem

, not

show examples

only with work pressure but

also

Linking Words

with personal pressure together. Another contributing factor is

urbanization

Change the spelling

urbanisation

show examples

and technology advancements,

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

facilitating

Wrong verb form

facilitate

show examples

more and often replace face-to-face conversation.

Additionally

Linking Words

,limited living areas in urban areas

reduces

Verb problem

apply

show examples

also

Linking Words

opportunities

Verb problem

reduce opportunities

show examples

with

neighbors

Change the spelling

neighbours

show examples

to rapport,

lead

Wrong verb form

leading

show examples

feeling

Fix the agreement mistake

feelings

show examples

of loneliness and isolation

with

Punctuation problem

, with

show examples

increase

Replace the word

increasing

show examples

overall

Linking Words

happiness.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, work-life balance is important and can

learned

Verb problem

be learned

show examples

from

this

Linking Words

predicament.The government could support employees or residents to a

health

Replace the word

healthy

show examples

work-life balance

Punctuation problem

, like

show examples

New

Zealand

Punctuation problem

Zealand,

show examples

many

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

manege

Use the right word

manage

show examples

by policy marker working hours

Linking Words

for

Punctuation problem

, for

show examples

instance

Punctuation problem

instance,

show examples

start at 08:00am and

finished

Wrong verb form

finish

show examples

at 5:00pm.

This

Linking Words

way

assists

Verb problem

helps

show examples

people

could be

Verb problem

apply

show examples

spend more time with family or relaxing activities

such

Linking Words

as doing their hobbies. In conclusion,the recent development of the world economy and

countries

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

Linking Words

this

Use the right word

has

show examples

effected

Use the right word

affected

show examples

individual

less

Fix the agreement mistake

apply

show examples

happiness

comparison

Replace the word

compared

show examples

in the past.

As well as

Linking Words

, to the way

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the government

organization

Change the spelling

organisation

show examples

work-life balance

contribute

Correct subject-verb agreement

contributes

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

growth economic

Correct word order

economic growth

show examples

and citizen happiness.

kanchanakularathna1991

Jun 20, 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language

Fix big grammar errors and make simple, clear sentences.

structure

Use one clear idea in each paragraph with a simple topic sentence.

examples

Explain each reason with a short example, or a small fact you know.

cohesion

Link ideas with easy words like 'also', 'but', and 'then' so the flow is good.

vocabulary

Check spell some common words and choose the right word.

task

End with a short, strong conclusion that restates the view.

structure

There is an intro, body and conclusion.

content

You talk about clear ideas of money and life at work.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
45
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

231 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Economic growth
Material wealth
Affluent societies
Social cohesion
Isolation and loneliness
Work-related stress
Professional expectations
Aspirations and reality
Environmental degradation
Sustainability
Consumerism
Comparison
Life balance
Mental well-being
Community relationships
Sustainable development

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphone. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In this modern society, technology has significantly changed people’s lives. Some people believe that some young people spend more time on their mobile phones daily. In this essay, I will explain the various negative statements and explain why I support my opinion with examples.
7
band
Some people think that schools should choose students according to their academic abilities, while others think it is better to have students of different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some people think schools should choose students according to their academic abilities, while others think it is better to have students of different abilities studying together.
8
band
Some cities have spent a large amount of money on bicycles. Why has this happened? Do you think it is the best way to solve traffic problems?
Several cities have invested a huge amount of money in bicycles. It is widely believed that this type of transport could be extremely beneficial for the environment because it is a pollution-free mode of transport and requires minimal fossil fuels. In addition to this ,travelling around with a bicycle appears to be helpful in order to reduce megacities’ traffic issues. This essay will elaborate on these points and provide a personal perspective.
6
band
Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own answers.
There is no denying the fact that professionals have an essential request to start working after they take the training. While it is a commonly held belief that experts such as doctors and engineers are required to industry in the same region of their training, there is also an argument that, they must have their own choices. This essay will analyse this topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, executives doctors and engineers had many perspectives on the medical sector in the country. In other words, if pro struggle in the same place as the training they had taken, this will increase the reputation of the company in the future if they succeed, doctors and engineers are required to provide research during the period of endeavor and they are required to teach another student. For example, there is a study published in 2020 by the University of Oxford showed that students who work in the same place of their training, are more efficient than others who decide...
7
band
advertising are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Some people say that advertising have a positive impact on our lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree.
Nowadays, advertisements have become an essential ingredient in people's daily lives, and many communities claim that the contribution of announcements significantly influences positivity among citizens. In my opinion, this trend is completely advantageous. This essay will further elaborate on the positive impact of this trend and thus will lead to a logical conclusion.

In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this? (Write 250 words.)

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphone. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some cities have spent a large amount of money on bicycles. Why has this happened? Do you think it is the best way to solve traffic problems?

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own answers.

advertising are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Some people say that advertising have a positive impact on our lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree.