IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that all children should learn second language from the time they start school, while others believe that it is better to wait until a child is at secondary school. Discuss both views and give Your opinion.

#people #children #second #language #time #school #child
Language
 is an important part of any culture. Many schools around the globe make it a point to include various
languages
 in their curriculum. There is a faction of people who believe that students should be taught a
second
language
 in primary
school
while
 there are others who believe that a
second
language
 should be introduced only in secondary
school
. Valid
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
 can be made for both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sides. Today ,we not only live in a
fast paced
Add a hyphen
fast-paced
show examples
 society but
also
 in a globally connected world. A multilingual individual will definitely have an edge over one's competitors .
For instance
, a foreigner who works in France but does not speak French fluently has less chance of success in comparison to a foreign individual who can speak French effortlessly. In order to gain command over the
language
 and to speak it flawlessly , a tremendous amount of practice is needed .
Thus
 ,it will be
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advantage
Replace the word
advantageous
show examples
 for a person to start learning a
second
language
 from the time he or she starts
school
.
On the other hand
, learning two distinct
languages
 at
any
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early age might confuse the child.
For example
, a
four year old
Add a hyphen
four-year-old
show examples
 child who is taught both French and English in primary
school
 might get muddled in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
languages
 which will compromise his fluency.
Primary
Add an article
The primary
show examples
school
 admits very young children and their brains are still being developed. There is a possibility that these
under developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
 brains might not be able to process these
languages
 in the correct manner.
Therefore
,
languages
 should be taught in secondary
school
 only when these children are a little more mature.
However
 ,I am still of the opinion that children should be taught a
second
language
 in primary
school
 itself. Knowing another
language
 is of great importance as it opens
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 in various corners of the world. Learning another
language
also
 teaches a child about various cultures around the world which may help him become culturally tolerable in the future.
Submitted by anubhavjoshi66 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingualism
  • cognitive development
  • neuroplasticity
  • linguistic acquisition
  • multicultural competence
  • secondary language proficiency
  • core curriculum
  • language immersion
  • academic achievement
  • maturation
  • pedagogy
  • globalization
  • language pedagogy
  • retention rates
  • cultural enrichment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: