Many believe that living in a city offers greater benefits compared to life in the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In my country, many
people
choose to live in town because many positive outcomes
such
as higher education and better healthcare are provided to the residents of a
city
more than
people
who live in rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
. In
this
essay, I will argue that life in the
city
could gain more opportunities and
most
Correct quantifier usage
more
show examples
convenance
Correct your spelling
convenience
. Advocates of
this
proposition believe that
city
-based institutions are always better than those in villages. Most children are affected by the environment of studies, if the facilities at school like tables, benches, chairs and other facilities do not support students it will make students cannot concentrate on their studies.
Moreover
, a chance to learn in higher education
is seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
to be hard for
people
who live in
countryside
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the countryside
show examples
.
For example
, my cousin studied in government schools in
village
Add an article
the village
show examples
itself
then
for
Correct pronoun usage
their bachelor
his bachelor
her bachelor
show examples
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
and master he came to
city
Add an article
a city
the city
show examples
like Vientiane.
Additionally
,
healthcare
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the healthcare
show examples
system is one of the most important conditions for many
people
to consider for their living, as it
not
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is not
show examples
only for one person but
also
for everyone in their families
,
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apply
show examples
because a big family
also
has
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a member
show examples
member
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members
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
different
rang
Correct your spelling
range
show examples
of ages
such
as babies, teenagers and especially elderly
people
are need
Change the verb form
need
show examples
to live near doctors.
However
, it is greater for everyone to live in an area that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
healthcare system.
For instance
, in the summer of 2020, the rate of coronavirus cases in many countries
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
higher in rural areas than in urban areas,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
a large number of patients with coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) were overwhelm under-resourced rural hospitals. In conclusion, I agree that living in a
city
provides better satisfaction and more convenience for many
people
to receive better medical management and increase
a
Change the word
their
show examples
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
good educational opportunities.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • metropolitan
  • infrastructure
  • cosmopolitan
  • commute
  • sociocultural
  • prosperity
  • sustainability
  • rural
  • tranquility
  • urbanization
  • relocation
  • residential
  • populace
  • ecological footprint
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