The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant

#show #results #survey #adult #education #first #adults #study #people #costs #information #features #comparison

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The first bar

chart

Use synonyms

gives information about the breakdown of various reasons why students choose to study, and the second pie

chart

Use synonyms

illustrates how the tuition fee for each course needs to be shared. It can be clearly seen that the interest in the subject of future students is by far the most common reason for studying.

Whereas

Linking Words

, the proportion of cost of individuals accounts for 40% of the total cost. Standing at the highest position in the bar

chart

Use synonyms

, interest in the subject becomes the most popular reason why adults decide to study (40).

Besides

Linking Words

, gaining qualifications is slightly lower than that of interest in subjects, but still the second most common student objective (37). There are some other reasons

such

Linking Words

as improving prospects of promotion, enjoying learning/studying, helpful for current job share almost the same figure, about 21 people selected

this

Linking Words

reason.

Finally

Linking Words

, the purpose of meeting people and changing jobs become the least common options.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, 40% of the total costs of each course in the pie

chart

Use synonyms

should be paid by people.

Whereas

Linking Words

, employers should share almost the same figure with individuals, at 35%, which is by far the second highest proportion.

Finally

Linking Words

, taxpayers make up 25% of the total course costs.

Submitted by minhnx2 on Tue Jun 20 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally, whereas".

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words chart with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

209 words

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