In many parts of the world, it is common for one parent to stay at home and raise a new born child while other works full time to earn money. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#parts #world #parent #home #child #works #time #money

Nowadays, there are several options for parenting

such

as both parents fully focusing on their work and only 1

parent

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

focusing on their career.

While

there are several peoples that still argue, from my point of view it will be better if at least

one

parent

is commit

Change the verb form

is committed

is committing

show examples

100% to their child compared to fully becoming a

fulltime

Correct your spelling

full-time

show examples

working

parent

. In my opinion, it’s our job to take responsibility to raise our

children

until grownups. If as a

parent

, we both pursue our careers, there will be a risk that our

children

cannot be taken care of well. Even though there is a nanny or babysitter, we cannot rely on them

due to

each person have their own rules and norms that will be difficult if we do not deliver directly to our

children

. If I flashback to time during primary school, some of my friends that have bad

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

and habits in school were raised by their babysitter.

This

happens

due to

their parents

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

not 100% available at their home but both pursue their careers.

While

there will be some benefits if

one

of the

parent

Change to a plural noun

parents

show examples

will be focusing on their

children

, a disadvantage

also

followed.

Due to

one

parent

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

focusing on their

children

, there will be an opportunity for loss of income to the family.

However

this

issue can be tackled by having a part-time job or

open

Wrong verb form

opening

show examples

a small or medium enterprise that can be conducted parallel when we raise our

children

For example

, during our

children

goes to school, we can change our focus on our part-time job or small and medium enterprise. To summarize, if only

one

parent

works

fulltime

Correct your spelling

full time

show examples

, it will bring many benefits to the family, especially to the

growths

Fix the agreement mistake

growth

show examples

of their

children

. Even though there will be an opportunity loss in the family revenues, the advantages still outweigh the drawbacks because our

children

are more important than anything.

Submitted by nadiasyifaa on Tue Jun 20 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8.5
band
A restaurant has placed an advertisement for waiters and waitresses in your local newspaper. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write a letter to the restaurant, applying for the job. In your letter: explain what you are currently doing describe your suitability for this area of work say when you can attend an interview.
I am writing this email regarding the advertisement you have published for hiring a waitress in your restaurant, which suits my conditions and abilities.
4.5
band
A government has a citizen to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?
All governments responsible for their citizens safety. Hense, some people have a debate on that, the governments sould spend more funds for defense while less budget for the social works. In the recent years many governments consider this matter vigorously. So, In this essay I will explore both sides and explain the reasons why I disagree with this statement.
6
band
In many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single-sex schools or co-educational schools. Some people think that children going to single-sex schools have disadvantages later in life. To what extent do you agree?
Looking at the past and current times we can see that same-sex schools stayed as popular as they were. At the same time, it is not popular everywhere, I can suppose that in Asian countries it is way more used than in Europe or America. As I thought about this, I think parents choose this exact way for their kids to study to prevent relationships between girls and boys and also to educate girls as “girls” and the same things with boys, some of them choose this because it aligns with their religious beliefs. But I don’t prefer this way of studying as a student and if I were a parent I would never choose this for my child.
4
band
An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?
There is no denying the fact that the cosmetic has a significant relation to self satisfaction. While it is a commonly held belief that assending number of people are desire to change their beauty by choosing plastic surgical. There is also an arugment that the most people choosing to have operation for change their look .this essay will analyse this topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
7.5
band
The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem ?
It has been universally accepted that the problem of environmental degradation is escalating at an alarming rate. The problem is bringing a state of depression among the masses and impacting the economy as well. There are a plethora of reasons for the same and its possible solutions can be suggested too which are discussed as follows.

In many parts of the world, it is common for one parent to stay at home and raise a new born child while other works full time to earn money. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

A government has a citizen to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

In many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single-sex schools or co-educational schools. Some people think that children going to single-sex schools have disadvantages later in life. To what extent do you agree?

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem ?