As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
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The world has become a small village since the internet, computers, planes and trains appeared. They could connect
people
from the north to the south and from the east to the west together easily, without barriers. Either through long-distance relationships or meeting foreign people
in reality. For instance
; students at universities are open to multi-national students, hospitals attract doctors from all over the world, etc. As a consequence
, the globalization phenomenon has arisen to unite the cultural identity of the world. As expected, many people
are afraid to lose their own cultural identity. In this
essay, I will argue that it's not the communities' right to protect their own traditions, as many of them are unbearable.
For ages, people
have tried to establish a community with properties as they believe, some communities were led by a religious man, others by a politician one
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For instance
, some were depriving women of their rights, slaving
black Verb problem
enslaving
people
, occupying rich-mineral countries and forcing women to wear specific clothes. In contrast
, nowadays people
are more aware of their own rights. To illustrate; in the present times, habits and lifestyles are spread easily between societies which can help each other to improve their behaviours.
In addition
, globalization plays a role in people
's way of living and their ambitions, for example
, trends on social media spread virally worldwide and encourage people
, especially adolescents, to imitate the trends. Obviously, this
can lead to disasters among them but it's still the family's role to protect their beloved ones despite the challenges and struggles to do this
.
In conclusion, I think there is no denying that globalization has its own negative and positive effects on cultural identity, it's individuals' right to be open to other cultures and choose what they want.Submitted by ghofran.abdullah98 on
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task response
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, presenting a logical structure overall. However, there are some areas where the main points could be more strongly supported with relevant examples and details. Ensure to fully address all aspects of the task and provide specific, comprehensive examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally well-presented, with a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to strengthen the connection between your supporting ideas and examples to better demonstrate the relationship between them. Consider using transition words and phrases to improve the coherence of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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