IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Task 2 Some people believe that professionals, such asdoctors and enginers should be required to work in the ciuntry where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #professionals #asdoctors #enginers #work #ciuntry #country
Some people argue that engineers, doctors, and other occupations should dedicate themselves to the homeland where they have finished their studies,
while
 others think it is important to give every opportunity for everyone to choose wherever they want to work. Personally, both of the statements have their advantages which will be discussed below. On the one hand, there are many countries,
such
 as Indonesia have allocated a large amount of money to provide scholarships for certain occupational students, hoping that if all of the students have finished their studies,
then
 they could serve their homey as professionals.
In addition
, It seems crucial, especially when the state needs lots of human resources to build and develop its nation in any particular discipline.
Moreover
, allocating a huge number of money for training costs means a long-lasting investment for the future, where a nation could experience a better life supported by any advanced aspects, provided by those, who are awarded by the government.
On the other hand
, some parts of society think that it is important to give freedom to everyone, whether they want to stay to serve their agrarian or move to another region. meanwhile,
this
 way will fulfil job satisfaction and
also
 could improve their productivity.
Furthermore
, they will have a chance to pursue their dreams, regardless of salary or knowledge improvement that they instantly can earn in developed countries where they want to live. Taking everything into account, it seems to me that staying to serve a rustic which has provided a good opportunity to build and develop our knowledge is a wiser choice, as long as the country can make sure that there is equitable career progression and job prospects for each employee.
Additionally
, there must be a work-life balance for every particular role which is very impactful for job satisfaction and productivity.
Submitted by mukarramailham on

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task response
Consider elaborating more on the examples you provide as they are a bit general. Providing more specific examples can help strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to refine some of the wording and phrasing to avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward sentences. This will make your essay more polished.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.
task response
The main points on both sides of the argument are addressed thoroughly.
coherence and cohesion
The arguments are logically presented and flow well from one point to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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