It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion ? What sort punishments should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour for children?

Looking at the task below, which
is concerning
Wrong verb form
concerns
show examples
the education process of what is right and wrong, at an early age, through the
punishment
's method, it's evident the way in which two wide views give the opportunity to think, compare and admit a proper opinion related.
To begin
with, the first view is related to those who favour and sustain the
idea
to punish
Change preposition
of punishing
show examples
their children, thinking that
this
one is the best way to let the little ones, understand what should be done and what not. The reasons can be many, here it's why it's dominant to consider the whole circumstances, before expressing an
idea
. One clear example
can be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
that most parents suppose that
punishment
is much easier than wasting their time through explanation. In comparison, we find those who don't agree with the factor to use
punishment
as a lesson to deliver, rather than take time to explain to their children, the right thing to follow in life. As has already been mentioned, everything depends on the circumstances,
therefore
, to consider the society
that is
around us is fundamental. In
this
case, the reason why someone is strongly in disagreement with the previous
idea
, it's because they may have tried already and
sow
Verb problem
see
show examples
that nothing has been changed. From my personal experience, after having considered several points of view, I declare to agree with those who can't find any positive sides related to the
idea
of
punishment
, but they share the values of communication. Because for me
for instance
, an education without explaining the reason , can't be worked
as well as
a lesson with the reason. In conclusion, with what has already been analysed, compared and observed, it's crucial to highlight that some of the punishments could work if, the intentions are with the consequence to guide it in a positive way,
otherwise
better to
avoid
Correct pronoun usage
themavoid
show examples
.
Correct pronoun usage
them.
show examples
Submitted by veronicalindiner1998 on

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structure
Ensure to clearly state your response to the question in the introduction. The questions are not explicitly addressed until the second and third paragraph. The introduction should immediately present your stance on the issue to guide the rest of the essay.
content
The fourth paragraph where personal perspective is given should more explicitly tie back to the specific questions posed for the essay. Clarify the connection between your personal views and the question at hand.
spelling
Please be careful about spelling and misuse of words ('sow' should be 'saw'). Such errors could impede understanding and affect your score.
grammar
Maintain a consistent tense throughout your essay. There were some grammatically incorrect switches between past and present tense.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Morality
  • Responsible
  • Psychological impact
  • Reinforcement
  • Positive discipline
  • Cultural perceptions
  • Punitive measures
  • Empathetic understanding
  • Personality development
  • Caregivers
  • Legal boundaries
  • Ethical boundaries
  • Behavioural correction
  • Negative reinforcement
  • Positive reinforcement
  • Corporal punishment
  • Time-out
  • Grounding
  • Behavioral modeling
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