Many parents choose to teach their children at home rather than sending their children to school. Do you think the benefits of home-schooling outweigh its drawbacks?

Many parents select to educate their offspring at home

instead

school

. In my opinion, the demerits of home-schooling outweigh the merits. On the one hand, there are some benefits of home-schooling.

Firstly

, home-schooling

provide

Correct subject-verb agreement

provides

show examples

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

environment for

children

than

attend

Wrong verb form

attending

show examples

school

This

is because

home schooling

Correct your spelling

homeschooling

show examples

can

elimniate

Correct your spelling

eliminate

bullying

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

peer

Fix the agreement mistake

peers

show examples

or teachers, which

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can

leads

Wrong verb form

lead

show examples

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

show examples

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

performance of

children

in their

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

Secondly

, parents can save a considerable amount of money , because they do not need to pay fees for

school

, which

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can reduce

financial

Correct article usage

the financial

show examples

burden

Change preposition

show examples

the parents.

Although

downsides

Correct article usage

the downsides

show examples

mentioned above, I would like to argue that the benefits of home-schooling

significantly

Add a missing verb

are significantly

show examples

more than

drawbacks

Correct article usage

the drawbacks

show examples

. The first advantage,

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

have teachers

are

Correct pronoun usage

who are

show examples

qualified to educate

children

and provide proper knowledge. To illustrate,

school

have specialists in different fields namely, Maths, Physics,and technology ,which

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

boosts the quality of education and make sure the

children

understand better than home-schooling. The second advantage,

school

Add an article

the school

a school

show examples

can have a

postive

Correct your spelling

positive

impact on

children

This

is because in

school

children

can have

opportunity

Correct article usage

the opportunity

show examples

to interact with teachers and

peer

Fix the agreement mistake

peers

show examples

than

home schooling

Correct your spelling

homeschooling

show examples

, which

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can help

children

become more

socially

Change the word

social

show examples

Furthermore

children

can

also

learn valuable skills in

school

For example

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

usually organize sports activities

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

football,

tennis

Correct word choice

and tennis

show examples

, which these sports can teach

children

cooperation and

competitive

Replace the word

competition

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

skills can help

childern

Correct your spelling

children

in their personal and professional life. In conclusion, In my perspective, the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages, because in

school

there are qualified educators, and

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

teach

children

useful skills

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

help them in their personal and professional life.

Submitted by faiz3177 on Tue Jun 20 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
After Staying in a hotel in another city for a week when you got home, you discovered that you had forgotten something of value in the hotel room. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter, •Describe the item you forgot and say where you left it •ask hotel to send it to you •Suggest a way to pay for the postage.
I am writing this to seek your help with a forgotten item during my stay at your hotel.
4
band
A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at museum. Writing a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntery/unpaid work. In your letter . explain why you want to do voluntery/unpaid work at the museum . describe some skills and qualities you have that would be usful . give details of when you would be available for work
I am writing this letter regarding part-time unpaid job in museum which I read in local newpaper. I am intrested to join that voluntary work and I am hoping you would gave me that opportunity.
4.5
band
Some people think that e-books are the death of paper books while others think that paper book will never disappear. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
In the current world, technology has been developed recently, and everything has been adapted to the developed world, such as books. Today, many people prefer e-books instead of paper books, and they think that paper books are not a good choice for reading. Whereas other groups are against this circumstance. This essay will discuss both perspectives, and I disagree that e-books are the death of paper books.
6
band
Museums and art galleries should show local history and culture instead of work from different countries. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Museums and art galleries fundamentally showcase noteworthy histories and creations to the universal audience both to teach them and to preserve imperative artefacts. Though some people support an international assortment in such vital places, I decisively believe that local works and national history should always get the uppermost precedence. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall discuss both views and give reasons to support my point of view.
6
band
Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
Many people tend to work for themselves rather than work for a company or organization these days. I think this situation can be explained by the advancement of the communication tools and the increasingly intense competition in the job market.

Many parents choose to teach their children at home rather than sending their children to school. Do you think the benefits of home-schooling outweigh its drawbacks?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that e-books are the death of paper books while others think that paper book will never disappear. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Museums and art galleries should show local history and culture instead of work from different countries. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?