Many parents choose to teach their children at home rather than sending their children to school. Do you think the benefits of home-schooling outweigh its drawbacks?

Many parents select to educate their offspring at home

instead

school

. In my opinion, the demerits of home-schooling outweigh the merits. On the one hand, there are some benefits of home-schooling.

Firstly

, home-schooling

provide

Correct subject-verb agreement

provides

show examples

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

environment for

children

than

attend

Wrong verb form

attending

show examples

school

This

is because

home schooling

Correct your spelling

homeschooling

show examples

can

elimniate

Correct your spelling

eliminate

bullying

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

peer

Fix the agreement mistake

peers

show examples

or teachers, which

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can

leads

Wrong verb form

lead

show examples

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

show examples

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

performance of

children

in their

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

Secondly

, parents can save a considerable amount of money , because they do not need to pay fees for

school

, which

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can reduce

financial

Correct article usage

the financial

show examples

burden

Change preposition

show examples

the parents.

Although

downsides

Correct article usage

the downsides

show examples

mentioned above, I would like to argue that the benefits of home-schooling

significantly

Add a missing verb

are significantly

show examples

more than

drawbacks

Correct article usage

the drawbacks

show examples

. The first advantage,

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

have teachers

are

Correct pronoun usage

who are

show examples

qualified to educate

children

and provide proper knowledge. To illustrate,

school

have specialists in different fields namely, Maths, Physics,and technology ,which

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

boosts the quality of education and make sure the

children

understand better than home-schooling. The second advantage,

school

Add an article

the school

a school

show examples

can have a

postive

Correct your spelling

positive

impact on

children

This

is because in

school

children

can have

opportunity

Correct article usage

the opportunity

show examples

to interact with teachers and

peer

Fix the agreement mistake

peers

show examples

than

home schooling

Correct your spelling

homeschooling

show examples

, which

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can help

children

become more

socially

Change the word

social

show examples

Furthermore

children

can

also

learn valuable skills in

school

For example

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

usually organize sports activities

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

football,

tennis

Correct word choice

and tennis

show examples

, which these sports can teach

children

cooperation and

competitive

Replace the word

competition

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

skills can help

childern

Correct your spelling

children

in their personal and professional life. In conclusion, In my perspective, the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages, because in

school

there are qualified educators, and

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

teach

children

useful skills

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

help them in their personal and professional life.

Submitted by faiz3177 on Tue Jun 20 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many parents choose to teach their children at home rather than sending their children to school. Do you think the benefits of home-schooling outweigh its drawbacks?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones. Is this a positive development or a negative one? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples fromyour own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that arts (for example, music or painting) don't directly improve people's wellbeing, and therefore the goverment should spend money on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?