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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table illustrates how much money was used for improvement purposes in the USA, EU countries and other countries between 2006 and 2010.

The table illustrates how much money was used for improvement purposes in the USA, EU countries and other countries between 2006 and 2010.
The table illustrates how much
money
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 was used for improvement purposes in the
USA
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,
EU
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countries
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 and other
countries
Use synonyms
 between 2006 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
while
Linking Words
 there was a significant increase in the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 used for
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
 in the
USA
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,
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 figure of the
EU
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 and other
countries
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 saw a gradual growth over the period except
2009
Change preposition
in 2009
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
USA
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 was the biggest contributor in three
while
Linking Words
 European
countries
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 and other nations gave similar amounts of
money
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 to developing ones. Starting in 2006, the
USA
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 gave 9,8
million
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 dollars for improving
countries
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, which was over three times as much as the amount of the
EU
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 and other nations with $3.1 and $2.8
million
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 respectively. Over the 2-year period, the figure for
money
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 to develop from three areas all saw an upward trend,
therefore
Linking Words
, the total finance increased from 15,7
million
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 to 24,4
million
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 dollars.
In addition
Linking Words
, the year 2009 witnessed a slight drop of 0,3%, in
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 used to improve in the
USA
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, the
EU
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 and other
countries
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.
However
Linking Words
,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period, the
USA
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 reached a peak at 20,3%, which was much larger than the total of European and other
countries
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 together ($4.1 in Europe and $3.7 in
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
).

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, usa, eu, countries, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gave" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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