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Band 7

The table chart below illustrates the percentage of school children attend of four groups in secondary school from 2000 to 2009.

The table chart below illustrates the percentage of school children attend of four groups in secondary school from 2000 to 2009.
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The table chart below illustrates the percentage of
school
Use synonyms
 children
attend
Correct pronoun usage
who attend
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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four groups in secondary
school
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that three
schools
Use synonyms
 have decreased in 2009.
Moreover
Linking Words
, voluntary-controlled
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 of the highest in the first year but in the
last
Linking Words
 year mentioned Community
school
Use synonyms
 is the highest
school
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
attendance. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the percentage of pupils in voluntary-controlled
schools
Use synonyms
 has fallen from over half to only 20% from 2000 to 2009. In the same way, the number of children in grammar
schools
Use synonyms
 under one quarter dropped by half in the same period. Generally, the percentage of pupils attending the specialist
schools
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 fell down by 2%
during
Change preposition
over
show examples
 9 years.
While
Linking Words
 the other three types of
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 have declined in importance, the community
schools
Use synonyms
 witnessed a dramatic increase.
Whereas
Linking Words
 only 12% were educated in these
schools
Use synonyms
 in 2000,
this
Linking Words
 figure increased to over half of all pupils during the following 9 years.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, schools with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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