Some people argue that the government should fund music, dance, and arts lessons for children. Others believe that they should pay for these lessons themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, there is a controversy on whether artistic learning for

children

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such

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as music, dance and art

lessons

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should be aided by

government

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funds

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or the

individuals'

Change noun form

individuals

show examples

finances.

Although

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both views hold merit, my supportive perspective would align more with the latter opinions. On the one hand, there is one main reason why the

funds

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government

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will bring various benefits for

children

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and their

parents

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. It is

due to

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the massive amount of money in

government

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funding. Provided that artistic

lessons

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are aided by

government

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funds

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, the enrollment fees of its classes will significantly decrease to a reasonable price.

Therefore

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, the possibility of the

parents

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letting their

children

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participate in that classes is likely to rise up which will be beneficial for the

children

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when they are encouraged to expose to the aesthetic world

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apply

show examples

and help them expand their knowledge of their surroundings.

As a result

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This

Linking Words

supportive funding from the

government

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can foster the development of the

children

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On the other hand

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, These

lessons

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should accept money from the individuals themselves. When there is a multitude of artistic learnings outside, the

funds

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supporting those

lessons

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from the

government

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will put a huge burden on their finances because those

funds

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are used for numerous purposes.

Thus

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, the citizens should be the investors for these

lessons

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, which can result in the expensive price of enrolling on those subjects because those

lessons

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have to rely on the finances of individuals to improve the infrastructure and maintain its activities.

However

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, those aesthetic

lessons

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will offer maximized contented experiences for the young participants in order to meet the expectation of their

parents

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because of their dedicated

funds

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which foster the

lessons

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' improvement

such

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as facilities, enthusiastic teachers... In conclusion,

although

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the

government

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funds

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artistic learning will encourage more

children

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to enrol, the money from their

parents

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should be the main income of its

lessons

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when the encouragement of showing potential effects to

children

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should be the main goal.

nguyenmanhthi7111994Wed Jun 21 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Some people argue that the government should fund music, dance, and arts lessons for children. Others believe that they should pay for these lessons themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Employers should give their workers at least one month holiday a year as it makes them to do better at their job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Advertising are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development ?

Many countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects. Why do they think so? What can be done to reduce harmfull effects?

Some people think visitors to others countries should imitate local customs and behaviours. Other people disagree, they think the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss the two views and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.