IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The following diagram shows how greenhouse gasses trap energy from the sun.

The following diagram shows how greenhouse gasses trap energy from the sun.
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The diagram shows how greenhouse gasses trap
energy
Use synonyms
 from the
sun
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, The
sun
Use synonyms
 is the greatest source of power to our planet, it delivers light and
heat
Use synonyms
. The
sun
Use synonyms
's
heat
Use synonyms
 is taken from the ground and water and they send out
this
Linking Words
 power as
heat
Use synonyms
 again into the higher atmosphere. First, transportation, human activity and the factory cause
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 and the
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 travel into the
sun
Use synonyms
. Our earth has fewer trees, so
this
Linking Words
 can
also
Linking Words
 cause more
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 on the earth because the tree absorbs the
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 to convert it into chemicals.
Next,
Linking Words
the
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 is transported to the
sun
Use synonyms
 and the
sun
Use synonyms
 produces the
energy
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 and the
energy
Use synonyms
 reflects back into the atmosphere. After that, the
heat
Use synonyms
 reflects back into the ground and there is two pathway for the
heat
Use synonyms
 to go.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the
heat
Use synonyms
energy
Use synonyms
 goes into the space at the pathway and the other goes into the greenhouse gases where the
heat
Use synonyms
 is trapped.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 88%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, sun, heat, carbon, dioxide with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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