The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year.

#bar #australian #water #consumption #cities #year #distribution

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The given bar graph displays the rate of Australian

water

Use synonyms

consumption in certain cities for a year in a particular period of time (

last

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year),

while

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the pie chart depicts the percentage of the distribution consuming

water

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in several sectors of Australia

last

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year (2014). By and large, it is evident that Perth was the city that utilize much

water

Use synonyms

among others,

while

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Canberra was the least.

Moreover

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, much

water

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was allocated for the Agriculture field. Meanwhile, Mining was the less. Looking into detail, it is evident that the average

Water

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consumption for Perth peaked at 300 Kilolitre the highest in the given period of time, followed by Brisbane and Adelaide, accounting for 250 Kilolitre and around 248 respectively. Sydney and Melbourne only contributed 200 and 150 correspondingly.

In addition

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, the least consumption was Canberra only donated nearly 147 Kilolitre.

Furthermore

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, the proportion of

water

Use synonyms

distribution for Agriculture was greater, accounting for 67 %.

However

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, the Household just stated at 9 %.

Moreover

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, Electricity and Gas Supply

also

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water

Use synonyms

supply, sewage and drainage shared the same ratio of 7 %.

Similarly

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, Manufacturing donated as much as other industries for 4 %.

Nonetheless

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, Mining was the least in which

water

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was distributed , only giving 2 % of the total.

Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on Wed Jun 21 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, moreover, while".

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

209 words

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The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year.

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You were supposed to go on an interview in a few weeks, but you have since found out you cannot go on the date arranged.

Some people consider corruption to be the root cause of problems in government organizations and politics. What problems arise due to this corruption? What are possible solutions to eradicate corruption.