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Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year.

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year.
#bar #australian #water #consumption #cities #year #distribution
The given bar graph displays the rate of Australian
water
 consumption in certain cities for a year in a particular period of time (
last
 year),
while
 the pie chart depicts the percentage of the distribution consuming
water
 in several sectors of Australia
last
 year (2014). By and large, it is evident that Perth was the city that utilize much
water
 among others,
while
 Canberra was the least.
Moreover
, much
water
 was allocated for the Agriculture field. Meanwhile, Mining was the less. Looking into detail, it is evident that the average
Water
 consumption for Perth peaked at 300 Kilolitre the highest in the given period of time, followed by Brisbane and Adelaide, accounting for 250 Kilolitre and around 248 respectively. Sydney and Melbourne only contributed 200 and 150 correspondingly.
In addition
, the least consumption was Canberra only donated nearly 147 Kilolitre.
Furthermore
, the proportion of
water
 distribution for Agriculture was greater, accounting for 67 %.
However
, the Household just stated at 9 %.
Moreover
, Electricity and Gas Supply
also
water
 supply, sewage and drainage shared the same ratio of 7 %.
Similarly
, Manufacturing donated as much as other industries for 4 %.
Nonetheless
, Mining was the least in which
water
 was distributed , only giving 2 % of the total.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, moreover, while".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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