IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Rich countries should not employ skilled people from poor countries, as poor countries need the worker more.do you agree or disagree?

#countries #people #worker
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
world
Use synonyms
, where luck plays a major role in human destiny. It defines the circle around you, your family, community and
country
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, those who are born in rich
countries
Use synonyms
 can have a satisfactory
life
Use synonyms
 with an average effort.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 from poor
countries
Use synonyms
 must go the extra mile to have a normal
life
Use synonyms
, and with hard
work
Use synonyms
, they become skilled and qualified for jobs all over the
world
Use synonyms
. They hope to immigrate to a rich
country
Use synonyms
 and establish a new beginning where financial comfort is approachable. Unexpectedly, there is a vision adopted by many
people
Use synonyms
 that rich
countries
Use synonyms
 should not attract skilled
people
Use synonyms
 from poor
countries
Use synonyms
, as their homes need them more. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will make it clear why I disagree with their opinion. Nowadays, with the viral spread of the importance of success and wealth,
people
Use synonyms
 are becoming more self-centred. The spirit of cooperation and kindness is declining sharply.
For instance
Linking Words
, ages ago, each house used to contain a family from three generations, where they live, eat and share their struggles together.
As a result
Linking Words
; they would survive whatever they go through.
In contrast
Linking Words
, at the present time, many humans live alone and face
life
Use synonyms
 milestones on their own only.
Thus
Linking Words
, I believe that everyone should do what is best for himself
instead
Linking Words
 of taking responsibility for the whole
country
Use synonyms
's development because he is the only one who is responsible for his
life
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in each
country
Use synonyms
 even if it is poor, there are always
people
Use synonyms
 who are attached to it and do not want to leave to
work
Use synonyms
 abroad.
Also
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 are overqualified for their
country
Use synonyms
's jobs, and they deserve to
work
Use synonyms
 for a highly-developed company which is rarely seen in poor
countries
Use synonyms
. So, leaving a poor
country
Use synonyms
 is not an abandoned action necessarily, it is just a way to look for self benefits and it won't make the
country
Use synonyms
 empty of other workers.
In addition
Linking Words
, highly-developed companies have the right to seek employees from all over the
world
Use synonyms
 if they have proper qualifications. Obviously, hiring skilled workers is not a selfish action, it's just doing what's good for the company's future itself. In conclusion, I believe that the
world
Use synonyms
 is for us all, it's unacceptable to ban skilled workers from poor
countries
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 for companies in rich ones.
Submitted by ghofran.abdullah98 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: