Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encaurage people torcarisumoless sugar. Do you agres or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #encaurage #people #torcarisumoless #agres

Currently, there are several ingredients that can create addictions in the

people

that consumed it,

for example

, alcohol, tobacco, drugs, and

sugar

Although

others are labelled as bad materials and there are already policies to control these elements,

sugar

is still out of the law.

People

tend to make a motion to reduce

sugar

intake by increasing the price of goods that contain

sugar

While

there are still arguments over

this

, I agree that the idea to make food or drink higher is the correct way. The more

sugar

we consume, the riskier for us to get

diabetes

. Nowadays,

diabetes

is one of the diseases that creates a lot of patients and makes the government become more suffer.

For example

, all Indonesian

people

are covered by the national

health

insurance. With more

people

coming to the hospital for their

diabetes

, the more they need to spend on the

health

of their

people

. If foods or drinks that contain higher

sugar

is charged more, the money can go to the

health

funds to give subsidy for other illness. Based on medical research,

diabetes

is one of the disorders that can create complications to other infections. As the blood gets thicker

due to

high concentrations of

sugar

, the bloodstream will have trouble going from one organ to the others. With

this

in mind, several

health

issues

such

as heart attack and stroke are very likely to happen.

Due to

many possibilities of complications, products that contain plenty of

sugar

need to be disciplined by applying extra charges.

This

situation already occurs in Thailand and

diabetes

patients over 10 years are decreasing.

To conclude

, I agree that items that have a dense composition of

sugar

need to be regulated by providing extra charges to the clients.

This

step needs to be taken to decrease the cash outflow from the insurance and decrease

diabetes

mellitus patients throughout the years.

Submitted by nadiasyifaa on Wed Jun 21 2023

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

315 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encaurage people torcarisumoless sugar. Do you agres or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Writing, reading and maths are the three recognized traditional subjects. Computer skill should also be the fourth largest branch. Do you agree or disagree?

Many societies are full of pollution. Why is this? How to solve? And give opinion

An increasing number of larger shopping areas, malls and department stores are leading to the decline of smaller corner shops. what are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in larger shopping centers rather than smaller, more traditional shops?

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or dis agree.

Some people think that it's easier for adults to learn skills (Ex: Computer skills) by themselves. Others think they need the help of a teacher in a classroom. Discuss both views and give your opinion as well.