The chart below give information on the ages of the population of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projection for 2050.

The chart below give information on the ages of the population of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projection for 2050.
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The given charts illustrate the percentage of the
population
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of ages in Yamen and Italy in 2010 and
projection
Correct article usage
the projection
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for 2050. As a whole,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the main factor influencing
this
Linking Words
population
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in
Yemen
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and Italy was the age of 15-59
years
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,
also
Linking Words
in the future. During the past and future,the lowest
number
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in
Yemen
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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citizens who are more than 60
years
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old ,
whereas
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the minimum
number
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of people youngsters who were 0~14
years
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in the past to the future. Remarkably, both countries are predicted to record an increase in the elderly
population
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. Moving to the details, in
Yemen
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, the old
population
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showed only a small minority which is 3.6% in 2000. It was less than Italy about a fifth. There was a significant difference between young teenagers in
Yemen
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and Italy in 2000. The
number
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of 0~14years citizens was occupied half.
However
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,in Italy, it was the lowest
number
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.
In addition
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,the age of 15-59 in Italy was the highest. When it comes to 2050, the 0-14 age group in
Yemen
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is forecasted to account for 37% which is higher than that figure in Italy roughly 25%.
Moreover
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, the proportion of the old in
Yemen
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still shows a small minority.
However
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, in Italy, it will increase by about 18%. The
number
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of citizens 15~59
years
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will decrease and occupy more than two-fifths which will be less than 15% in the past.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, yemen, years, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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