IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table below gives information about the population of New Zealand between 2011 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about the population of New Zealand between 2011 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
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The table provides a breakdown by selected age group of that on population in 5 different age categories: 1) All ages; 2) Under 15; 3) 15-39; 4) 40-64; 5) 65+; of New Zealand between 2011 and 2012. The table data clearly shows that the highest percentage change was in
category
Use synonyms
 5) 65+; with +4 per cent, in 2011 in
this
Linking Words
category
Use synonyms
 we bore 500.000
people
Use synonyms
, 1 year later we bore 900.000
people
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in comparison with the least indicator in categories 2) Under 15; and 3) 15-39; with -0,2 per cent. In 2011 in
category
Use synonyms
 2) Under 15; we had 801.750
people
Use synonyms
, 1 year later we had 800.000, and in
category
Use synonyms
 3) 15-39; we had in 2011 1.520.000 folk, and 1 year later we had 1.500.000 folk. As can be seen from the table, percentage change indicators were in 1) All ages; and 4) 40-64: categories with + 0,6 per cent, what I mean here is that in 2011 in
category
Use synonyms
 1) All ages; we had 4.400.000
people
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in 2012 in the same
category
Use synonyms
 we had 4.460.000
people
Use synonyms
 and in
category
Use synonyms
 4) 40-64; in 2011 we honored 1.400.000
people
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 we honored 1.460.000
people
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words category, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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