Some people think competitive sport is important for a child's education. Others think it has negative effects on children. Discuss both views and give your opiniion

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It is frequently argued that competition in the games is quite essential for youngsters'

overall

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development,

whereas

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others consider it could have a detrimental impact too. In

this

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,essay I would like to shed light on both perspectives

along with

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my view. To commence with, it has been commonly believed that children are like clay that could be moulded in the form their mentors want them to be. If parents want their wards to be strong enough to tackle all the mental or physical problems by themselves, they ought to let them play.

For instance

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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sports

such

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as football, cricket, wrestling and others require endurance and stamina to win;

therefore

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if a child initiates to perform at an early age

then

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he would have a good physique and sharp mind to face various circumstances.

Besides

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, in competitive sports offspring could develop their cognitive skills , and these play a significant role in education as well.

On the other hand

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, playing dangerous sports occasionally might have a bad impact on the young ones.

To begin

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with, fighting and aggression at a high level make adults' nature stubborn. Sometimes, the arguments in the field result in serious fights, and youngsters

fought

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fight

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over the streets with their opponents.

Apart from

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this

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, the players frequently had fatal injuries,

while

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giving their best.

For example

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, in the tournaments young muscles

got

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get

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stretched or fractured during matches and toddlers have to spend days or weeks in the hospitals.

Thus

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, they will not have any time to study and

got

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

poor academic scores. In conclusion, involvement in physical activities plays an integral part in the upbringing of teenagers as they can have good progression in muscles and intelligence as well, but unfortunately could lead to uncurable diseases. In my opinion, kids should be allowed to play with extra care.

jhajjravneet9Thu Jun 22 2023

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task response

Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the logical structure of your essay is well-organized with clear linking words and cohesive devices.

task response

Make sure to fully address every aspect of the essay question and provide a more comprehensive explanation of your ideas.

15
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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