The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.
The given two pie chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
the proportion of four types
online
Change preposition
of online
show examples
sales
in New Zealand between 2003 and 2013.
Overall
, travel and film/music made up the largest proportion of the total online
sales
in two selected years.In all types
online
Change preposition
of online
show examples
sales
there was only minimal change over the 10 years period. In 2003, it is apparent that 36% of the total
sales
were travel sector related, which was the major online sale of the year.
However
, in 2013, a drop of 7% resulted in the same sector which became the second biggest portion of total online
sales
. Film and music made the third largest portion of the
overall
sales
in 2003 (21%)
whereas
, in 2013, the figure rose to 33% which successfully hit the highest
sales
.
However
, over the decade, both figures
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined sharply to 29% and 16% respectively.As for the sector of books, it had increased slightly from 19% in 2003 to 22% in 2013.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, overall".
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Comparative analysis
  • E-commerce
  • Retail sectors
  • Growth rate
  • Decade
  • Decline
  • Trends
  • Online transactions
  • Consumer behavior
  • Market share
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Digital era
  • Accessibility
  • User-friendly platform
  • Market dynamics
  • Predictive outlook
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