The number of elderly people in the world is increasing. What do you think are the positive and negative effects of this trend?

#people #world #effects #trend

Nowadays, advanced medical technologies and better food quality increase

overall

human expectancy,

help

Correct word choice

and help

show examples

people

to live longer.

As a result

older

Correct article usage

the older

show examples

age population has risen, bringing not only a lot of benefits but

also

some unwanted drawbacks. First up,

higher

Correct article usage

a higher

show examples

rate of aged adults can bring some visible benefits. As far as I am concerned, old

people

contain much knowledge and skills that youngsters can take

advantages

Fix the agreement mistake

advantage

show examples

of. The main problem that many youngsters struggle

Change preposition

with in

show examples

life is experiences, manners and skills in each specific situation and they need some guidance from the older. As an example, many teenagers don't have much knowledge about their traditions

such

as how to worship their

ancestor

Fix the agreement mistake

ancestors

show examples

so elderly

people

such

as grandparents can help them with the experiences.

Besides

, a significant number of elderly

people

will reflect the fact that their life and medical quality are excellent,

the

Correct word choice

and the

show examples

food quality is better too.

Whereas

in contrast

, older

people

often

Add a missing verb

have more

show examples

illness

Fix the agreement mistake

illnesses

show examples

In particular

, the rising number of sick

people

will put pressure on

health-care

Correct your spelling

healthcare

show examples

facilities, which might not be able to address the demand,

such

as not enough housing or nursery homes.

Moreover

, the old-age medical demands are often high so the government have to pay more.

Besides

that, there are more familial and social conflicts

due to

the generation gap and resentment between

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

youngsters against the elderly.

As a result

, it can lead to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

crack among family members. In conclusion,

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

we can’t deny the advantages of elderly

people

, if the quantities

reaches

Change the verb form

reach

show examples

an extreme rate, the next generation will have to face a lot of problems.

Submitted by nguyencamnhi on Thu Jun 22 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The number of elderly people in the world is increasing. What do you think are the positive and negative effects of this trend?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used to make money from tourists. Others believe that this is the only way for some places to survive in today's world. Discuss both sides and give you opinion.

A group of people think that the penalty for each kind of crime needs to equal, another group says that before giving punishment wants to analyse the stimulantt and motivation of the crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Most people agree that money cannot bring happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness?

Some people think that wearing uniforms fosters solidarity between staff and makes them feel part of a team. Others claim that it is better to have a dress code than a uniform. Discuss both views and give your opinion.