The number of elderly people in the world is increasing. What do you think are the positive and negative effects of this trend?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, advanced medical technologies and better food quality increase
overall
Linking Words
human expectancy,
help
Correct word choice
and help
show examples
people
Use synonyms
to live longer.
As a result
Linking Words
,
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
age population has risen, bringing not only a lot of benefits but
also
Linking Words
some unwanted drawbacks. First up,
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
rate of aged adults can bring some visible benefits. As far as I am concerned, old
people
Use synonyms
contain much knowledge and skills that youngsters can take
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
of. The main problem that many youngsters struggle
in
Change preposition
with in
show examples
life is experiences, manners and skills in each specific situation and they need some guidance from the older. As an example, many teenagers don't have much knowledge about their traditions
such
Linking Words
as how to worship their
ancestor
Fix the agreement mistake
ancestors
show examples
so elderly
people
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as grandparents can help them with the experiences.
Besides
Linking Words
, a significant number of elderly
people
Use synonyms
will reflect the fact that their life and medical quality are excellent,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
food quality is better too.
Whereas
Linking Words
in contrast
Linking Words
, older
people
Use synonyms
often
more
Add a missing verb
have more
show examples
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
.
In particular
Linking Words
, the rising number of sick
people
Use synonyms
will put pressure on
health-care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
facilities, which might not be able to address the demand,
such
Linking Words
as not enough housing or nursery homes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the old-age medical demands are often high so the government have to pay more.
Besides
Linking Words
that, there are more familial and social conflicts
due to
Linking Words
the generation gap and resentment between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters against the elderly.
As a result
Linking Words
, it can lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
crack among family members. In conclusion,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
we can’t deny the advantages of elderly
people
Use synonyms
, if the quantities
reaches
Change the verb form
reach
show examples
an extreme rate, the next generation will have to face a lot of problems.
Submitted by nguyencamnhi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: