The number of elderly people in the world is increasing. What do you think are the positive and negative effects of this trend?

Nowadays, advanced medical technologies and better food quality increase
overall
human expectancy,
help
Correct word choice
and help
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people
to live longer.
As a result
,
older
Correct article usage
the older
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age population has risen, bringing not only a lot of benefits but
also
some unwanted drawbacks. First up,
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
rate of aged adults can bring some visible benefits. As far as I am concerned, old
people
contain much knowledge and skills that youngsters can take
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
of. The main problem that many youngsters struggle
in
Change preposition
with in
show examples
life is experiences, manners and skills in each specific situation and they need some guidance from the older. As an example, many teenagers don't have much knowledge about their traditions
such
as how to worship their
ancestor
Fix the agreement mistake
ancestors
show examples
so elderly
people
such
as grandparents can help them with the experiences.
Besides
, a significant number of elderly
people
will reflect the fact that their life and medical quality are excellent,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
food quality is better too.
Whereas
in contrast
, older
people
often
more
Add a missing verb
have more
show examples
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
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.
In particular
, the rising number of sick
people
will put pressure on
health-care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
facilities, which might not be able to address the demand,
such
as not enough housing or nursery homes.
Moreover
, the old-age medical demands are often high so the government have to pay more.
Besides
that, there are more familial and social conflicts
due to
the generation gap and resentment between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters against the elderly.
As a result
, it can lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
crack among family members. In conclusion,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
we can’t deny the advantages of elderly
people
, if the quantities
reaches
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reach
show examples
an extreme rate, the next generation will have to face a lot of problems.
Submitted by nguyencamnhi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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