IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Nowadays many children have trouble paying attention in class or concentrating on their school work. Why is this happening? How can this problem be solved?

#children #trouble #attention #class #school #work
In
this
 day and age,
students
 are less active in class and face problems of lack of concentration and attention to what has been taught by the teacher. Too much
use
 of mobile
phones
 and social
media
 is the main reason for it and the problems can be solved by
parents
 by restricting the hours
children
 spent on
phones
.
To begin
 with, one of the main reasons for the lack of concentration among
students
 in their
school
 is the excessive
use
 of mobile
phones
 by them because they keep on thinking about their social accounts in
school
 and do not stay active in class.
In addition
, these days
children
 start using
phones
 at an early age for playing games and watching youtube videos, etc. when they are unfamiliar with the pros and cons of it which results in more hours spent on
phones
 and
hence
 do not care about
school
 work. Another worth considering factor is social
media
apps
.
Moreover
, A number of social
media
apps
 are available and popular which attract people and motivate them to create an account which results in their addiction to scrolling these
apps
, and they start to be less attentive in
school
 or class.
Therefore
, Computer or mobile games and social platforms are the reasons for the problems faced by
students
 these days. Every problem has a solution.
Parents
 play a major role in their
children
's upbringing and are responsible for inculcating good habits in them. They should educate them at an early age about the advantages and disadvantages of smartphones and their proper
use
 because proper guidance can be helpful to make
children
 aware of how important is their study than
apps
 which only wastes their time. Apart from that, there must be some rules by the application owners for the
use
 of the
apps
 by pre-mature boys or girls.
Hence
,
parents
 can solve the issues by giving proper guidance to their
children
.
To conclude
, excessive
use
 of various Social
media
apps
 by
students
 is the main reason behind their lack of attention and concentration in
school
 and the problem can be mitigated by the
parents
 by guiding
children
 in a proper way and by monitoring and setting a time limit for using the phone.
Submitted by sainisonia422 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: