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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

the table below gives information about the underground rainway systems in six cities Summarise the information by selecting and reporting and reporting the main features and make comparations where relevant

the table below gives information about the underground rainway systems in six cities Summarise the information by selecting and reporting and reporting the main features and make comparations where relevant
#information #rainway #systems #six #cities #summarise #features #comparations
The given table shows information about
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of the underground railway system in six different
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
along
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1863 to 2001.
Overall
, the
city’s
Change noun form
cities
show examples
 depict different information about
date
Correct article usage
the date
show examples
 opened,
Add an article
a kilometer
show examples
kilometer
Change the spelling
kilometre
show examples
 of
route
Add an article
the route
show examples
 and amount passengers per year (in million).
Furthermore
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 news that interesting to
giving
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
. It is
sum
Correct article usage
the sum
show examples
kilometer
Change the spelling
kilometre
show examples
 of
route
Add an article
the route
show examples
 in
London
 and
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
passengers
Correct quantifier usage
number of passengers
show examples
 per year in
Tokyo
.
To begin
 with the table,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
London
city
 shows
rate
Correct article usage
a rate
show examples
higher
Change preposition
of higher
show examples
kilometer
Change the spelling
kilometre
show examples
 of
route
Add an article
the route
show examples
 (394). It is become
value
Correct article usage
the value
show examples
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
peak compare with
other
Change the wording
another city
other cities
show examples
city
, Paris (199),
Tokyo
 (155), Washington DC (126),
Kyoto
 (11), and
Los
Angeles
 (28) respectively. Meanwhile, the
city
 lower is
Kyoto
.
This
 is just up 11
Kilometer
Fix the agreement mistake
Kilometers
show examples
 of
route
Add an article
the route
show examples
.
Furthermore
, there are
describe
Wrong verb form
described
show examples
 total
passenger
Fix the agreement mistake
passengers
show examples
 in six
city
Change to a plural noun
cities
show examples
. It is
Tokyo
 (1927), Paris (1191,
London
 (775),Washington DC (144),
Los
Angeles
 (50),
Kyoto
Correct word choice
and Kyoto
show examples
 (45)
Respectively
Fix capitalization
respectively
show examples
. From the data,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Tokyo
city
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
higher compared with
other
Change the wording
another city
other cities
show examples
city
.
the
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
 data
really
Add a missing verb
is really
show examples
 significant
comparison
Replace the word
compared
show examples
 with
London
, Washington DC
Los
Angeles
 and
Kyoto
.
Moreover
, the
city
Paris
Change preposition
of Paris
show examples
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
 slightly
distance
Replace the word
distant
show examples
.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
show examples
 the
city
 most Lowes shows by
Kyoto
city
 (45),
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not far different
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
Los
Angeles
city
. (50)
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words kilometer, route, london, tokyo, city, kyoto, los, angeles with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • underground railway systems
  • cities
  • data
  • number of lines
  • number of stations
  • annual passengers
  • highest
  • lowest
  • developed
  • comparisons
What to do next:
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