Some people think that more money should be spent on protecting endangeret species while others think it is a waste of valuable money. What is your opinion?

#people #money #endangeret #species #waste

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Budgeting the

government

Use synonyms

's resources is

very

Rephrase

apply

show examples

vital in order for a country to survive. They should allocate the right amount of

money

Use synonyms

to each sector to support their

programs

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for the citizens.

However

Linking Words

, some

people

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say that there should be more

money

Use synonyms

spent on caring for the almost extinct species

while

Linking Words

others are saying the opposite. In my opinion, it will be a waste of

money

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. On the one hand, as humans, we have the responsibility to take care of our mother nature.

This

Linking Words

includes plants and animals ,especially the endangered ones. If we increase the resources for

this

Linking Words

, future generations will still be able to witness the beauty of our environment.

For instance

Linking Words

, in the Philippines, the

government

Use synonyms

is protecting its national animal which is the Philippine monkey-eating eagle, by establishing an enormous sanctuary for them to freely fly and mutate.

Thus

Linking Words

, increasing its number for the past 7 years. Up until

this

Linking Words

era, they could still see personally what their national animal looks like and not just

thru

Correct your spelling

through

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books.

On the other hand

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, with the recent recession happening around the globe, there are more important things to worry about rather than the endangered species.

Firstly

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, the

government

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could allocate more resources to

health

Use synonyms

. One of the main problems for

people

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is the lack of

health

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programs

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. If given more attention, more lives would be saved and not many diseases would pop up.

For instance

Linking Words

, during the recent COVID-19 pandemic, those

people

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from third-world countries are suffering

due to

Linking Words

a lack of hospitals and hospital equipment.

Hence

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, lots of fatalities. If only the

government

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saved more

money

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for

health

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issues, death could be prevented.

Secondly

Linking Words

, they could

provide

Verb problem

pay

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more attention to food. There is an increasing percentage of hungry

people

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every day, which is a portal of myriads of illnesses. With much focus given to food

programs

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, not many

people

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would starve to death. In South Africa,

for example

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, the

government

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is increasing their feeding

programs

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to reach even those that are in far-flung areas.

Thru

Correct your spelling

Through

show examples

this

Linking Words

, world hunger will be reduced and soon will be eradicated. To recapitulate, we have a responsibility to protect our environment.

However

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, we should

also

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think of what to prioritize like our

health

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and food. Without these, we would not have the energy to help save our mother nature.

Submitted by eric.benedict520 on Thu Jun 22 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion to frame the discussion. Make sure that the main points are well supported with relevant details and examples. Maintain consistency in the logical structure of the essay.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates a complete response to the task with clear and comprehensive ideas. Relevant examples have been used effectively to support the points made. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly defined to outline the essay's argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

386 words

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Include an introduction and conclusion

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