Some people think that more money should be spent on protecting endangeret species while others think it is a waste of valuable money. What is your opinion?

#people #money #endangeret #species #waste

Budgeting the

government

's resources is

very

Rephrase

apply

show examples

vital in order for a country to survive. They should allocate the right amount of

money

to each sector to support their

programs

for the citizens.

However

, some

people

say that there should be more

money

spent on caring for the almost extinct species

while

others are saying the opposite. In my opinion, it will be a waste of

money

. On the one hand, as humans, we have the responsibility to take care of our mother nature.

This

includes plants and animals ,especially the endangered ones. If we increase the resources for

this

, future generations will still be able to witness the beauty of our environment.

For instance

, in the Philippines, the

government

is protecting its national animal which is the Philippine monkey-eating eagle, by establishing an enormous sanctuary for them to freely fly and mutate.

Thus

, increasing its number for the past 7 years. Up until

this

era, they could still see personally what their national animal looks like and not just

thru

Correct your spelling

through

show examples

books.

On the other hand

, with the recent recession happening around the globe, there are more important things to worry about rather than the endangered species.

Firstly

, the

government

could allocate more resources to

health

. One of the main problems for

people

is the lack of

health

programs

. If given more attention, more lives would be saved and not many diseases would pop up.

For instance

, during the recent COVID-19 pandemic, those

people

from third-world countries are suffering

due to

a lack of hospitals and hospital equipment.

Hence

, lots of fatalities. If only the

government

saved more

money

for

health

issues, death could be prevented.

Secondly

, they could

provide

Verb problem

pay

show examples

more attention to food. There is an increasing percentage of hungry

people

every day, which is a portal of myriads of illnesses. With much focus given to food

programs

, not many

people

would starve to death. In South Africa,

for example

, the

government

is increasing their feeding

programs

to reach even those that are in far-flung areas.

Thru

Correct your spelling

Through

show examples

this

, world hunger will be reduced and soon will be eradicated. To recapitulate, we have a responsibility to protect our environment.

However

, we should

also

think of what to prioritize like our

health

and food. Without these, we would not have the energy to help save our mother nature.

Submitted by eric.benedict520 on Thu Jun 22 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion to frame the discussion. Make sure that the main points are well supported with relevant details and examples. Maintain consistency in the logical structure of the essay.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates a complete response to the task with clear and comprehensive ideas. Relevant examples have been used effectively to support the points made. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly defined to outline the essay's argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

386 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that more money should be spent on protecting endangeret species while others think it is a waste of valuable money. What is your opinion?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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In the past, lectures were the traditional method of teaching large numbers of students in a classroom. Nowadays new technology is increasingly being used to teach students. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach in teaching?

With advancing technology, the development of automated vehicles is becoming reality. In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages of self-driving vehicles?

In many country, people have health problems because they choose to live in an unhealthy way. Why do you think that people choose to live in an unhealthy way. What can be done about this problem.