Some people think that more money should be spent on protecting endangeret species while others think it is a waste of valuable money. What is your opinion?

#people #money #endangeret #species #waste

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Budgeting the

government

's resources is

very

Rephrase

apply

show examples

vital in order for a country to survive. They should allocate the right amount of

money

to each sector to support their

programs

for the citizens.

However

, some

people

say that there should be more

money

spent on caring for the almost extinct species

while

others are saying the opposite. In my opinion, it will be a waste of

money

. On the one hand, as humans, we have the responsibility to take care of our mother nature.

This

includes plants and animals ,especially the endangered ones. If we increase the resources for

this

, future generations will still be able to witness the beauty of our environment.

For instance

, in the Philippines, the

government

is protecting its national animal which is the Philippine monkey-eating eagle, by establishing an enormous sanctuary for them to freely fly and mutate.

Thus

, increasing its number for the past 7 years. Up until

this

era, they could still see personally what their national animal looks like and not just

thru

Correct your spelling

through

show examples

books.

On the other hand

, with the recent recession happening around the globe, there are more important things to worry about rather than the endangered species.

Firstly

, the

government

could allocate more resources to

health

. One of the main problems for

people

is the lack of

health

programs

. If given more attention, more lives would be saved and not many diseases would pop up.

For instance

, during the recent COVID-19 pandemic, those

people

from third-world countries are suffering

due to

a lack of hospitals and hospital equipment.

Hence

, lots of fatalities. If only the

government

saved more

money

for

health

issues, death could be prevented.

Secondly

, they could

provide

Verb problem

pay

show examples

more attention to food. There is an increasing percentage of hungry

people

every day, which is a portal of myriads of illnesses. With much focus given to food

programs

, not many

people

would starve to death. In South Africa,

for example

, the

government

is increasing their feeding

programs

to reach even those that are in far-flung areas.

Thru

Correct your spelling

Through

show examples

this

, world hunger will be reduced and soon will be eradicated. To recapitulate, we have a responsibility to protect our environment.

However

, we should

also

think of what to prioritize like our

health

and food. Without these, we would not have the energy to help save our mother nature.

Submitted by eric.benedict520 on Thu Jun 22 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion to frame the discussion. Make sure that the main points are well supported with relevant details and examples. Maintain consistency in the logical structure of the essay.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates a complete response to the task with clear and comprehensive ideas. Relevant examples have been used effectively to support the points made. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly defined to outline the essay's argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

386 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
In today's world many own a smart phone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages.
In the modern era, a smartphone is a part of numerous individuals' possessions. This writer believes that the advantages of having access to the internet and keeping in touch with others at all times far outweigh the chance of losing data to hackers.
5
band
One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? #consequence #care #people #life #expectancy
It is utterly undeniable that improved medical care has help human live longer and life expectancy is extending. This phenomenon has both strengths and weakness, from my perspective, the latter are more dominant.
<4
band
number of children who drop the scool is increasing in some countries.what are the reasons and solutions to overcome this problem.
In the age requiered backgrouds with decente education, an increasing rate of dropping ouyt of college running through the world has sparked a disccusion, this essay shed light on the relative reasons and illustrate some measures have been made aimed to this issues.
6.5
band
Developed countries have created many environmental problems in the world, particularly in their contribution to global warming. Why is global warming a problem? What can be done to reduce the danger of global warming?
Nowadays, global warming has become an interesting topic in society because of the dangerous impacts of global warming. First of all, global warming is an increase in average Earth Temperatures due to human action. In this essay, I will examine the problems as a result of global warming and the actions that must be taken to decrease the adverse effects.
8
band
You are going to throw a party and would like to cook a special dish for your guests but do not have the recipe. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • tell your friend why you are having a party • explain what dish you want to cook and ask your friend for the recipe • invite your friend to the party
How have you been? I missed the wonderful time we had together when I was at Tabesh School. I’m going to throw a party for my 25th birthday on 21 September. Because of this party, I decided to try to cook a strange Greek food. I thought it could be a great surprise for my guests.

Some people think that more money should be spent on protecting endangeret species while others think it is a waste of valuable money. What is your opinion?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In today's world many own a smart phone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages.

One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? #consequence #care #people #life #expectancy

number of children who drop the scool is increasing in some countries.what are the reasons and solutions to overcome this problem.

Developed countries have created many environmental problems in the world, particularly in their contribution to global warming. Why is global warming a problem? What can be done to reduce the danger of global warming?