The graph below shows the changes in maximum number of Asian elephants between 1994 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graph below shows the changes in maximum number of Asian elephants between 1994 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
The given bar chart represents the estimated number of elephants that were living in a variable range of Asian countries in both 1997 and 2004.
Overall
, With the exception of Cambodia and Laos, the number of
elephants’
Change noun form
elephants
show examples
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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reduced between these two particular years, in other countries
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mentioned in the chart. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first glance it clear that these creatures’
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
became smaller significantly in Thailand and Malaysia and the number of them
were
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was
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almost
double
Wrong verb form
doubled
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
7 years ago. India had the largest
elephants’
Change noun form
elephants
show examples
population in 1994 and it could again occupy
this
place in 2007
while
it experienced a dramatic fall in numbers of
this
type of animal after 7 years. Not only was not Chinese elephants’ population great big at the beginning of
this
period of time, but it
also
lost a considerable figure over
this
time frame.
Also
, It can be seen that the elephants’ society in Vietnam and Laos did not encounter marked loss.
Moreover
,
in contrast
to other asserted countries, the only place
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
elephants showed signs of
recovering
Replace the word
recovery
show examples
was Cambodia, where numbers may have risen by up to 200.
Submitted by m.v.g1371 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words elephants’ with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuate
  • peak
  • trend
  • decline
  • increase
  • decrease
  • population
  • significant
  • dramatic
  • stability
  • data
  • estimate
  • notable
  • comparative
  • contrast
  • approximately
  • maximum
  • over the period
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