Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
A lot of individuals support that the best method to enhance community
health
is by increasing the number of sports
facilities. However
other people
believe that public health
just can influenced
a little and that we should take other action. In Change the verb form
influence
this
essay, both point
of view will be explored before discussing my opinion.
On the one hand, it is useful for Change to a plural noun
points
people
if the government will build a lot of free sports
gyms which can give people
an opportunity to participate in this
activity. This
is because nowadays individuals are living a sedentary lifestyle as
suffering from many Correct word choice
and
healthy
issues,Replace the word
health
this
will be managed by doing a wide variety of sports
. Those activities not only can burn the
calories and decrease obesityCorrect article usage
apply
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
can give people
some dopamine which can provide them good
emotions. Change preposition
with good
Moreover
, population
in urban Add an article
the population
area
is increasing dramatically. Fix the agreement mistake
areas
This
will demand to build more sports
facilities.
On the other hand
, these places can give little impact on the health
of people
. The first reason is that people
have more responsibilities at there
work or school which deliver them Correct your spelling
their
stresses
. The second reason is dietary problemsFix the agreement mistake
stress
,
because some foods contain a large amount of preservatives and pesticides. It is challenging for Remove the comma
apply
people
to buy some
healthy food in Correct quantifier usage
apply
morden
societies.
From my point of view, the government should impose Correct your spelling
modern
the
laws which reduce the working hours and make every Correct article usage
apply
citizens
Change to a singular noun
citizen
have
sufficient time Unnecessary verb
apply
go
to the gyms to do Fix the infinitive
to go
sports
. Additionally
, the authority also
should promote healthier and organic food which can decrease the consumption of junk foods.
In conclusion, according to
my opinion,the increased sports
facility would provide the
place where one should do physical activity and improves their Correct article usage
a
health
. However
, other factors such
as food, time and so on should be managed by the government. As a result
, balance
of both Correct article usage
a balance
notion
is needed.Change to a plural noun
notions
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Fully explain your ideas
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- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
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