IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why do people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

#countries #people #food
It is true that the consumption of imported foodstuffs has increased in recent years.There are some factors which help to account for
this
 trend, but measures can be implemented to encourage more people to eat the meal which is grown locally In many countries, people are buying more imported
food
 and there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a number of reasons
to explain
Verb problem
apply
show examples
why
this
 is happening.
Firstly
, the attractive marketing and presentation of imported
food
 products give them an appealing and appetizing appearance. Consumers
then
 come to expect certain high standards of packaging, so that
food
 looks tasty, safe, hygienic and, in the case of some products, easy to prepare.
Secondly
, the availability of a wide range of imported foodstuffs enables people to vary their diet and experiment with new recipes.
This
 may provide a welcome change from eating the same meals every day, which inevitably becomes tedious and no longer stimulates the taste buds. It is possible,
however
, to take steps to encourage the consumption of locally produced
food
. Local growers should ensure that their products always look clean and fresh. In Vietnam,
for example
, all the fruit and vegetables, meat and fish on display at local markets must be presented in scrupulously hygienic conditions, protected by plastic wrapping to keep away dust or flies.The government should enforce strict
food
 safety regulations. Another measure could be to increase the variety of
food
 produced by local farmers,which would
then
 eliminate the need to import those foods from other countries.
This
 would stimulate the local economy and reduce the environmental costs of transportation known as
food
 miles. In conclusion,
while
are
Correct pronoun usage
there are
show examples
 some obvious reasons to explain the rise in the popularity of imported
food
, some simple measures should be adopted by local
food
 growers to meet
this
 challenge.
Submitted by sajini.ishara94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay provided a complete response to the task with relevant and comprehensive ideas. However, more specific examples could have been included to strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay was generally good, but your introduction and conclusion could have been more developed and the flow of ideas more clearly connected.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: