The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some ppl think the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more PE lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #ppl #pe #lessons #school #curriculum

There are a lot of talks nowadays about healthcare problems. It is a most common theme in society on tv programs or the web. Especially in countries where healthcare is unavailable for groups of people and not sponsored by the government establishment.

However

, the community needs to figure out a well-being attitude for future generations. First of all, I agree that PE lessons could be helpful for youngsters. In

this

,age the human structure grows muscle and nerve structures. For

this

,reason physical activities at school are really important. It could help to grow a nation with strong habits.

For example

, in German ,schools there are a variety of pilates

class

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classes

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, which may assist to strengthen the body and mind. But, because of some,

points

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,points

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I might not support the idea to introduce more PE lessons in school. Some students may not be prepared for

such

an intensive program. Disabilities, health problems and else could be a barrier. People have individual complaints for different levels of lifestyle. They already have a weakness which affects health issues, and

this

case will affect the care system more. Another option could be, increasing physics activities might not help groups of humans, who are in overage. Our population has

Change the word

apply

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older than young. How to deal with them? I suggest the health care system wants to start from scratch. I could agree, it is a good start. But

also

they do not need to forget about building habits for all nations. Once I saw how Chinese grannies did gymnastics in the park.

Such

a great example of body care.

Overall

, the medical system may do more online educational products for generations. Including guides on diet, habits, exercises and explaining why so.

Therefore

not only physicists could assist

the

Correct article usage

apply

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healthcare organization to solve problems with an overweight population, but information and explanation of reasons why people need to follow rules might reduce the load for medical organizations.

Submitted by da.lrmnt on Thu Jun 22 2023

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Sentence 3 - Discussion
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

322 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some ppl think the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more PE lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large. Do the advantages of patriotism outweigh its disadvantages?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Due to high unemployment rate in some countries, pupils should be offered only primary education and not secondary education since there are no jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many countries now face an economic downturn, so it is better for each country to focus on its problems rather than helping other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.