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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people agree that children should ask for parents advice while others do not agree. Discuss both the ideas and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, some
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of the community believe that
children
Use synonyms
 should open up to their elders and ask for
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
.
However
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, some
contradicts
Change the verb form
contradict
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
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 idea. In my opinion,
children
Use synonyms
 ask their
parents
Use synonyms
 for
advice
Use synonyms
. Easy access to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media could mean harm to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
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. Especially when making decisions that could impact their future life.
For example
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,
children
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 should consult their
parents
Use synonyms
 on which university courses may be more beneficial for them. Asking
advice
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 from
Correct pronoun usage
your parent
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parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 is the best option because your
parents
Use synonyms
 are the closest
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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 to you,
thus
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, they know what your strengths and weakness are.
Parents
Use synonyms
 can help guide their
children
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into
Change preposition
to
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 the right path.
Also
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 when asking for
advice
Use synonyms
 from your
parents
Use synonyms
 you can build a strong bond with your
parents
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.
For instance
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, when I consult my
parents
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 regarding my future regarding my studies I felt closer
with
Change preposition
to
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 them as they are always there for me and
motivates
Correct subject-verb agreement
motivate
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 me to work hard for my dream.
On the other hand
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, some
parents
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 are too strict and
pressuring
Change the form of the verb
pressure
show examples
 on their
children
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. These
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
parents
Use synonyms
 put immense pressure on their
children
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 which could lead to anxiety and depression.
For instance
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,
children
Use synonyms
 who
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not receive the support they need are inclined to
feeling
Change the verb
feel
show examples
 stress more frequently in comparison with
children
Use synonyms
 who
knows
Change the verb form
know
show examples
 their
parents
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 are there for them.
To conclude
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, there are many benefits when asking
parents
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 for
advice
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 as they can help lead you the right way since they have more experiences in life.
Thus
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, if
children
Use synonyms
 take
advice
Use synonyms
 from
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
 they are more likely to succeed in life with
tehe
Correct your spelling
the
 love and support they attain.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • generation gap
  • authoritative
  • nurturing
  • autonomy
  • independence
  • life experience
  • peer pressure
  • values and morals
  • guidance
  • mentor
  • perspective
  • decision-making skills
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