IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#books #internet #outweigh
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Previously,
knowledge
Use synonyms
was merely existed
Change to the active voice
merely existed
has merely existed
show examples
 in books,
however
Linking Words
 presently,
knowledge
Use synonyms
 can be uploaded on the
internet
Use synonyms
 and can be accessible to
million
Correct your spelling
millions
show examples
 and billions of people all around the world. In the following essay, I will discuss some pros and cons of uploading
knowledge
Use synonyms
 on the
internet
Use synonyms
. One of the main benefits of releasing
information
Use synonyms
 on the
internet
Use synonyms
 is that everyone is able to access the
information
Use synonyms
 very quickly.
Internet
Use synonyms
 is made for a better social bonding that can aggregate people in the same place.
For example
Linking Words
, if a new substance in chemistry is discovered. It is better to be uploaded on the
internet
Use synonyms
 rather than in a book. and it is because everyone can access it instantly. Another positive
aspects
Replace the adjective
aspect
show examples
 of uploading
knowledge
Use synonyms
 on the
internet
Use synonyms
 is that the
knowledge
Use synonyms
 will be expanded in more quicker way
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 in sharing
information
Use synonyms
 in books. To elaborate
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
on this
show examples
 I will give you one main example. Imagine some findings about a meteor
require
Correct pronoun usage
that require
show examples
further
Linking Words
 observation. In
such
Linking Words
 cases the
information
Use synonyms
 will be uploaded, allowing certain individuals who
passes
Correct subject-verb agreement
pass
show examples
 the ability to solve the rest of the problem and contribute
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 investigation. One of
downsides
Add an article
the downsides
show examples
 of uploading
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge
Use synonyms
 on the
internet
Use synonyms
 is that all
information
Use synonyms
 online cannot be trusted.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 the books can be a trusted source of
information
Use synonyms
. if
that is
Linking Words
 the case some fact-checking organization might be established in order to check the activity on the
internet
Use synonyms
 and evaluate its validity
whether
Correct word choice
and whether
show examples
 it is qualified to be online. In conclusion, despite the fact that sharing
knowledge
Use synonyms
 online has some benefits
such
Linking Words
 as everyone
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
accessibility
Replace the word
access
show examples
toward
Change preposition
to
show examples
 online
information
Use synonyms
. Plus, the
information
Use synonyms
 may expanded in a quicker way.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 there are some
downside
Fix the agreement mistake
downsides
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 approach
such
Linking Words
all
Change preposition
as all
show examples
information
Use synonyms
 on the
internet
Use synonyms
 cannot be well trusted.
Submitted by mohammad.saffarian on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt and provides balanced arguments for advantages and disadvantages of uploading knowledge to the internet. Develop clear topic sentences and provide adequate supporting details for each point.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing the essay into clear paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. Use cohesive devices such as transition words and pronouns to link ideas and ensure a clear flow of information.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • E-learning
  • Virtual libraries
  • Cyberspace
  • Search engine literacy
  • Critical evaluation skills
  • Open-source information
  • Data mining
  • Intellectual property
  • Digital preservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: