IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Is the internet bad for young people? Give your opinion

#internet #people
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Use synonyms
Internet
Add an article
The Internet
show examples
 has become one of the most important things in our
life
Use synonyms
. Not only adults, nowadays children
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 daily activities
such
Linking Words
 as doing their homework, watching movies, playing video games,
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
 chatting with their teachers or friends.
Reseachers
Correct your spelling
Researchers
 said that
internet
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 has bad effects
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 young people.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 has a lot of benefits for our
life
Use synonyms
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
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 for kids or teenagers.
This
Linking Words
 article will explain my point of view about
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 for
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation. The disadvantages of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Correct your spelling
Internet
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mainly
Add a missing verb
are mainly
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 because
parents
Use synonyms
 didn't control the time-consuming of it.
For example
Linking Words
, some
parents
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busy
Add a missing verb
are busy
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 with their work and give their kids gadgets for hours to make them feel safe and secure. They might think it is good
fo
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 both of them but
unfotunately
Correct your spelling
unfortunately
,
this
Linking Words
 type of
parents
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bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 them to addictiveness. Despite the facts about
negative
Add an article
the negative
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 side of
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
, if we can
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 wisely, we will get huge benefits. For
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
show examples
, students
use
Use synonyms
 Zoom
Meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
Meetings
show examples
 to discuss with their friends about their work group. Pupils buying a limited book on
online
Correct article usage
an online
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 shop or
sell
Wrong verb form
selling
show examples
 their craft on it.
Altough
Correct your spelling
Although
, there is a desire to entertain
theirself
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
 with
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 watching Youtube, playing video games, or hearing Spotify.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 that situation,
parents
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 have a big part
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
life
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 stage.
Parents
Use synonyms
 should control when and where their kids can
use
Use synonyms
 their mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 or laptop. So,
this
Linking Words
 attitude will discipline their children to become
a smart users
Correct the article-noun agreement
a smart user
smart users
show examples
. In a nutshell, everything has pros and cons, it depends on our actions and thoughts. Sometimes young people need amusements in their
life
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 to escape from their
schools
Change the noun form
school
show examples
 routine. They obviously need it but
parents
Use synonyms
 need to monitor the technology
Use synonyms
use
Change the form of the verb
used
show examples
 to form a good behaviour.
Submitted by claudia.anggreacia on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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