IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many students find it difficult to pay attention at school. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to solve this problem?

#students #attention #school
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It is certainly true that today many
students
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 find it challenging to focus at
school
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. There are many reasons why
students
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 face difficulties
to focus
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focusing
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 at
school
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,
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however
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,however
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 there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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different measures to tackle
this
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 issue.
To begin
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 with, the primary reason why
students
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 encounter
challenging
Wrong verb form
challenges
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 to concentrate in their
school
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 is
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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Change preposition
in a
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 number
bullying
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of bullying
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 cases in
school
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.
This
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 is because bullying from
peer
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peers
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 can have a negative impact
in
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on
show examples
Use synonyms
children
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children's
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 mental health namely, depression, anxiety, commit suicide, which
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can minimize the
peformance
Correct your spelling
performance
 of pupils in
school
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.
Technology
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 is another reason why
children
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 face
difficulities
Correct your spelling
difficulties
 to pay attention to
school
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. To illustrate, these days, most
of
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
children
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the children
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 spend a significant amount of time in front of
technology
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such
Linking Words
 as
,
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apply
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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,
Correct word choice
and smarphones
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smarphones
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smartphones
smartphone
 in order to play video games until late time , which means
children
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are do
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do
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 not get enough time to sleep,
becaue
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because
 sleep is
crucial
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a crucial
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 factor in order to help the brain perform well in
school
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. Regarding solutions, the
school
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 management and parents can do many things to solve
this
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 issue. At the level of
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school
Add an article
the school
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, the
school
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 manager can introduce strict laws to set limits for bullying by
punish
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punishing
show examples
 the
bullyers
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buyers
bullies
 like, fired from
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school
Add an article
the school
show examples
,
reduce
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and reduce
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 their
gradets
Correct your spelling
grades
, which
this
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punishmens
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punishment
punishments
can help to ensure all
students
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 will become
Add an article
a discipline
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discipline
Wrong verb form
disciplined
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. In terms of families, they should set
Add an article
a limit
the limit
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limit
Fix the agreement mistake
limits
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for
Change preposition
on
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Correct article usage
the use
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use
Wrong verb form
using
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their
Change preposition
of their
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 offspring to the
technology
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 by
turn
Change the form of the verb
turning
show examples
 off the computer or
smarphones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
smartphone
 after
mid-neight
Correct your spelling
midnight
 in order to make sure
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 receive sufficient hours of
sleeping
Replace the word
sleep
show examples
. In conclusion, there are a number of reasons why
students
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 can not pay attention to
school
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 including, bullying,
overusing
Correct word choice
and overusing
show examples
 of
technology
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 ,
on the other hand
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, there are different measures to tackle
this
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 problem
such
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 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
school
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introudce
Correct your spelling
introduce
introduced
 harsh laws to deter the
bullyers
Correct your spelling
buyers
bullies
, parents can set
limit
Add an article
a limit
the limit
show examples
 for usage their
children
Use synonyms
 to
technology
Use synonyms
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • concentration
  • attention span
  • distractions
  • technology
  • boredom
  • tiredness
  • engagement
  • learning disabilities
  • teaching techniques
  • classroom size
  • family issues
  • health problems
  • motivational strategies
What to do next:
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