IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some People Think That It Is Better To Spend Money To Eliminate The Cause Of Crime

#people #money #crime
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In today's world , where
money
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 can buy anything and practically everything, many people do think that
cause
Correct article usage
the cause
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 of
crime
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 can be removed through
money
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. In
this
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 essay , I will present both sides of the discussion and will present my take on
this
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 debate. In modern times,
money
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 is
single
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the single
a single
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 most essential medium you can barter to gain anything you want. Investing funds in building
better
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a better
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 model for early
crime
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 detection and stopping at the very right moment can prevent many hazards and save lives.
Morever
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Moreover
, it will provide
better
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a better
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 place for
public
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the public
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 to thrive and enjoy life.
For Example
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, in many developing or
under developed
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underdeveloped
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 nations, poverty is
main
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the main
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 culprit for most types of
crime
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.
Therefore
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, if
money
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 is invested in eradicating
the
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apply
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poverty will eventually lower the
crime
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 arising
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason. Having said that, on the other side of the coin, it might be practically not possible to eradicate all the causes of
crime
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 .
For example
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 : love hatred and jihad crimes are the kind of
the
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apply
show examples
crime
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 which are
emotion driven
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emotion-driven
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 and no amount of
money
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 can help
prevent
Correct pronoun usage
themprevent
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. In my conclusion, capital if spent after thoughtful research can help
removal
Correct article usage
the removal
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 of specific kinds of
crime
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.
Submitted by desaivini9 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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