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Band 5

Parent, usually mothers, give up work, choose to stay home and look after families. Some people think the government should give them salary, others disagree. Discuss both and give your opinion?

#parent #mothers #work #home #families #people #government #salary
Nowadays it is a common situation
,
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apply
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 when one of the parents
decide
Correct subject-verb agreement
decides
show examples
 not to work, but spend most of their time taking care of their
families
Fix the agreement mistake
family
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. Some people suggest that
official
Correct article usage
an official
show examples
 salary should be given
for
Change preposition
to
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 that
persons
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
,
while
 others have
opposite
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the opposite
an opposite
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 opinion . In
this
 essay, I will overview both opinions and give my own
in
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apply
show examples
conclusion.
To begin
 with, taking care of a big family with two or more kids is a great job. It is necessary to make food , clean the house, wash clothes, look after children and help them with education and other things.Unfortunately, some
families
 are forced to leave
official
Correct pronoun usage
their official
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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, because it is impossible for them to combine it with housework.
For instance
,
families
 with small kids, who have no kindergarten or person who helps them. To deal with that issue the
government
 should take some measures to help,
for example
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,
show examples
benefits for that kind of
families
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family
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 or salary.
On the other hand
, if that kind of opportunity appears , the majority of people will use that chance. So, it will reduce
number
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the number
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 of employees and hurt the economy of a country. So, the
government
 should estimate who really needs help and who just
want
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wants
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 to get money. There will be some criteria which
helps
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help
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 to find out
really
Correct pronoun usage
what really
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 need the
governments
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government's
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 support.
To conclude
, I think that taking care of family is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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hard work which should be appreciated. So, the
government
 should help
families
 that have no possibility to work
as well as
 others. But there will be criteria
who
Change preposition
for who
show examples
 really needs a benefit from
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
.
Submitted by tatjana040792 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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