IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe it’s better for children to have stay-at-home mothers while others believe it’s better for mothers to work. Which do you think is better for a child, a working or a stay-at-home mother? Use ideas and information from the article to support your ideas.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Mothers are often placed next to god as they give birth to us and raise us for a successful future.
However
Linking Words
, it is thinking of some folks that maternal love received from the life giver who does not work is better at raising children
while
Linking Words
 others oppose it by saying that it is preferable to have a mother who does the job. I believe both notions are equally valid,
nonetheless
Linking Words
, which one is a superior approach is just a matter of perspective. On the one hand, moms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 stay home spend the entire day with their children,
as a result
Linking Words
, a better understanding and connection are built. Certainly,
According to
Linking Words
 ,some they provide better nurturing to the young ones. From my experience, I am deeply connected to my mother as she is always available even when my father is not around. Correspondingly, youngsters are more attached to one of their parents resulting in the 100 per cent attention they get from them.
Hence
Linking Words
, these pupils are much more dependent on the mother as compared to the others.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, working moms are busy maintaining the work-life balance and in some ,cases the differences in relationships tend to grow because of the stress from the job.
Consequently
Linking Words
, lack of attention leads to making wrong decisions in early life.
For example
Linking Words
, the Working culture is usually 8 hours a day
whereas
Linking Words
 the entire time is occupied by either travelling or preparing for the next day
due to
Linking Words
 which the child is often unsupervised.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, youngsters in
this
Linking Words
 situation are more independent and passionate about their careers as they imitate their hard-working parents. In conclusion, it is argued
between
Change preposition
that
show examples
 individuals who are better at raising the child either stay-at-home or working mothers. In my opinion, the difference is just two-minded thought and unconditional maternal love cannot be judged by the profession.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the issue and provides a roadmap for your essay. Use topic sentences to introduce each paragraph and ensure that all supporting points are relevant to the topic. Your conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position.
task response
Make sure to address all parts of the prompt, including providing a clear opinion on whether a working or stay-at-home mother is better for a child. Provide specific examples and support for your ideas to make your response more comprehensive.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: