IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some say it is better to have vertical cities with lots of tall buildings rather than horizontal cities with fewer tall buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
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 argued that skyscrapers are the best
option
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 for
cities
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 rather than landed residential. I firmly agree with
this
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 statement
due to
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 considering land availability and more privacy for the owner. I will examine my point of view in the following essay.
On the other hand
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, having vertical
cities
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 should address the likelihood of disaster, the earthquake
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for
Change preposition
as
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instance
Check wording
earthquakes
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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 the drawbacks of
this
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 trend could be a threat of building collapse because of earthquakes.
For example
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,
cities
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 which are situated
at
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in
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 the ring of fire usually have a great intensity of disasters.
Hence
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, they should be addressed and mitigate risk and have a good emergency contingency plan to save
people
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 who are living in apartments.
However
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, there are two major possibilities why having vertical
cities
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 is the best
option
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.
To begin
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 with,
urbanization
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urbanisation
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 is one inevitable consequence of
this
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 current situation,
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this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is making
people
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's demand for living soar,
while
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 land availability is limited.
Thus
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, the vertical building is the best
option
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 to accommodate
people
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 in one place because it is the best
option
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 to save space and cope with that demand. To illustrate, Singapore is the best example of why having an apartment is better for
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
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people
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 since the space availability is limited.
Furthermore
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, the current generation tends to live in a flat because
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
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 more private
,
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apply
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 and affordable,
as well as
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 the flat complex is usually equipped with nice basic facilities
such
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 as
general
Correct article usage
a general
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 practitioner,
mini
Correct article usage
a mini
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 market, and entertainment to support their basic need compared to landed buildings. In conclusion,
although
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 there are disadvantages to
this
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 trend like potential earthquake risk, the benefits offered are outpaced
the
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by the
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 demerits.
Hence
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, I remain firmly
agreed
Wrong verb form
in agreement
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 with
this
Linking Words
 statement since it is cost-effective and more private compared to horizontal
cities
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 .

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structure
Plan your essay. Start with a clear line that says your view. Then add two strong reasons and a short end.
coherence
Make each paragraph about one main idea. Use clear links like First, Also, But, For example.
content
Give clear proof for each point. A real fact or a clear example helps your point.
grammar
Check grammar. Shorten long sentences and fix small word mistakes.
stance
You keep a clear view through most of the essay.
coherence
You use some good link words to show order.
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