IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #advertisements #products #lives #support
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Promoting their
products
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 through various channels has been always the most popular tool for
the
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apply
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companies to sell their
products
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.
Although
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 some
people
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 believe that we can discover new merchandise via marketing, I personally agree that
the
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apply
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advertisement has the power of convincing
people
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 to purchase unnecessary
items
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. On the one hand, advertisement is required to allow
people
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 to learn about the
products
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 that can be beneficial to them. Some
items
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 specifically made for
target
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the target
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 audience may not be found in the neighbourhood stores.
As a consequence
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 of the development of online marketing,
people
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 from all around the world have access to a wide range of
products
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 and they can effortlessly order them online.
For instance
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, my mother has diabetes and she has been dealing with some challenges
such
Linking Words
 as non-healing wounds that come with
this
Linking Words
 disease. One day we saw a TV ad about a scar cream that was specifically produced for diabetes patients. We ordered that cream online and she has been satisfied with the results. I can say that it helped her greatly. If we did not see the on-screen ad about
this
Linking Words
 cream, she would not have had the chance to heal her scars.
On the other hand
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, marketing has the power of convincing
people
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 to purchase the
items
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 they do not necessarily require. There are a great number of various
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products’
Change noun form
products
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 promotions on social media, TV and radio. Doubtlessly, we can say that most of these
products
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 are not there
in
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to
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 aid
of
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apply
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people
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 but for the
companies’
Correct your spelling
companies
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 profit.
Additionally
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, they are designed to create spending temptation. It is hard to withstand especially the discounts or offers accompanying these
products
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.
For example
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,
although
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 I create a shopping list every time before I do grocery shopping, I end up buying more
items
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 for the reason that the flyers I receive push me to purchase more than I need. There are so many discounts,
offers
Correct word choice
and offers
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 I come across that if I do not take advantage of them, I feel like I would lose a great deal.
This
Linking Words
 is the power that the advertising companies have over us. In conclusion,
although
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the
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apply
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product promotion
have
Change the verb form
has
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 advantages
such
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 as helping
people
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 find out the
items
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 that are beneficial to them, more often than not it triggers
people
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 to spend money on
the
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apply
show examples
items
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 that they are not in need of.
Submitted by akmangizem on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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