Many people believe that increasing levels of violence on television and in films is having a direct result on levels of violence in society. Others claim that violence in society is the result of more fundamental social problems such as unemployment. How much do you think society is affected by violence in the media?

#people #levels #violence #television #films #society #unemployment #media

Some

people

argued that

media

films contributed to violence becoming soared,

while

others believe

this

is caused by the shortage of job vacancies and jobless in society. I am convinced that the unemployment system is mainly a significant possibility in contributing to the case ,not the

media

. I will give an overview in the following essay.

On the other hand

, some

people

pointed out that social

media

is the most contributor to climbing the criminal rate.

To begin

with,

crime

scientists revealed discovered that

media

such

as television, social

media

apps, and movie have had quite a massive impact on youngsters to do crimes from light

crime

to heavy

crime

Furthermore

, bad things from

media

will manipulate and rapidly absorbed by juveniles to copy .

Consequently

, they tend to do criminal activities because of what they have watched and accepted as a common thing.

However

this

factor is recorded around 20-30 per cent in world statistics as the reason why

people

did violent or lawbreaker activities.

Subsequently

, one inevitable consequence of job unavailability is the erosion of morals,

this

is lead to

people

who tend to be

offender

Fix the agreement mistake

offenders

show examples

as well as

Replace the word

criminals

show examples

crime

Moreover

, Individuals who did not have well occupations for living, and encouraged to do shortcut way in earning money, as ,result whether they could steal money and rob someone's wealth. It is a proven possibility

why

Correct word choice

that

show examples

many developing countries struggle with

this

situation, in which the

crime

rate is affected by the shortage of employment. To illustrate, Jakarta the capital city of Indonesia associated with

this

case, because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the lack of job opportunities contributed to a

climbing

Replace the word

climb

show examples

crime

percentage.

Hence

, Government should mitigate

this

case and do some programs to decline the rates. In conclusion,

although

some scientists said television program has quite a significant impact on the

crime

rate,

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

I remain firmly convinced that occupation is the main contributor to the significant

crime

that occurred.

Submitted by darmasamuelhutajulu on Fri Jun 23 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

321 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that thia would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You stayed at a hotel to attend a company meeting and you were dissatisfied with your stay. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter – Provide the details of your meeting – Explain what you were dissatisfied with – Suggest what the hotel should do to resolve the issue.

The plans below show how the ground floor of a particular building has changed over time. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?