Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is argued that constructing more
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
is a better approach for public
health
betterment than other
sollutions
Correct your spelling
solutions
.
However
,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
claim that it is not efficient
enought
Correct your spelling
enough
and will not influence
on
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apply
show examples
the nation’s
health
. I believe that the increase in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of
sport
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sports
show examples
facilities
is not the best way to improve the
health
of the population, because
sport
is a time-consuming activity for most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
and there are other more significant factors which
impact’s
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impacts
impact
show examples
on body’s
health
.
People
will not utilize these public
sport
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sports
show examples
facilities
. Because
,
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apply
show examples
they haven’t got so much spare time to do exercise and on the weekends
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
great number of
people
prefer to restore by sleeping or consuming mass media
contant
Correct your spelling
content
.
This
way, only children and teenagers can probably visit these
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
courts
regulary
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regularly
.
For example
, in Aktobe the majority of
sport
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sports
show examples
club’s
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club
show examples
facilities
visitors are
undereighteen
Correct your spelling
under eighteen
. Visiting
sport
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sports
show examples
facilities
is costly, so public
health
will not improve significantly. Because a lot of
people
are unfortunate and have a mere wage.
Consequently
, they
unable
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are unable
show examples
to afford
attending
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to attend
show examples
gym
Add an article
the gym
a gym
show examples
.
For instance
, in
Kazakhstan
Add a comma
,Kazakhstan
show examples
there are a lot of
people
who get a minimum
sallory
Correct your spelling
salary
for living, which is about 200$.
However
, building
such
facilities
can allow some
people
to work out, as there
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
will be a lot of different places to choose from.
Also
, the
yougsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
can
also
visit
such
clubs. In conclusion,
although
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
will not change the whole situation,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can have a mere effect and a step to solve it.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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