Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

It is argued that constructing more

sport

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sports

show examples

facilities

is a better approach for public

health

betterment than other

sollutions

Correct your spelling

solutions

However

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

claim that it is not efficient

enought

Correct your spelling

enough

and will not influence

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the nation’s

health

. I believe that the increase in

number

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a number

the number

show examples

sport

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sports

show examples

facilities

is not the best way to improve the

health

of the population, because

sport

is a time-consuming activity for most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

and there are other more significant factors which

impact’s

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impacts

impact

show examples

on body’s

health

People

will not utilize these public

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they haven’t got so much spare time to do exercise and on the weekends

the

Correct article usage

show examples

great number of

people

prefer to restore by sleeping or consuming mass media

contant

Correct your spelling

content

This

way, only children and teenagers can probably visit these

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

courts

regulary

Correct your spelling

regularly

For example

, in Aktobe the majority of

sport

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sports

show examples

club’s

Change noun form

club

show examples

facilities

visitors are

undereighteen

Correct your spelling

under eighteen

. Visiting

sport

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sports

show examples

facilities

is costly, so public

health

will not improve significantly. Because a lot of

people

are unfortunate and have a mere wage.

Consequently

, they

unable

Add a missing verb

are unable

show examples

to afford

attending

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to attend

show examples

gym

Add an article

the gym

a gym

show examples

For instance

, in

Kazakhstan

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,Kazakhstan

show examples

there are a lot of

people

who get a minimum

sallory

Correct your spelling

salary

for living, which is about 200$.

However

, building

such

facilities

can allow some

people

to work out, as there

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

will be a lot of different places to choose from.

Also

, the

yougsters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

can

also

visit

such

clubs. In conclusion,

although

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

will not change the whole situation,

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can have a mere effect and a step to solve it.

Submitted by ronadeclaro on Fri Jun 23 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

What to do next:

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned be¬cause of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that government should spend on medical facilities whereas other people think that investing on transport is necessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population create problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extant do the advantage of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?.

Technology allows food to be produced in greater quantities at lower prices. Some people believe this is a positive development, while others feel that the change is harmful. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.