IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

People continue to commit crimes even after being punished for it. Why do you think this happens? How can crime be stopped?

#people #crimes #crime
It has always been a problem that
criminals
 go on committing crimes,
although
 they have experienced harsh sentences.
This
 essay will examine the reasons for
this
 problem and provide solutions. The first and most important reason is that successive transgression of laws is led by poverty. If a person has a criminal experience in the curriculum, companies are less likely to employ them.
As a result
, they are unable to earn money and tempt to continue accomplishing unethical behaviours.
For example
, most of the people who pickpocket are poor, unemployed people. The second factor is that often
criminals
 finish their sentence without regretting their actions and never beg for pardon from the victim.
For instance
,
last
 year a raper in California left the prison with a smile on his face.
This
 means that he may have the intention to repeat the sexual harassment. To prevent consecutive violations, the government should provide help to
criminals
 that have economic issues in order to stop the poverty chain. To illustrate, subsidies to ex-outlaw and penalties to firms that reject them can be effective. Another solution consists in reinforcing ethical education to
criminals
 so that they can realize the cruelty of their actions and regret them. To give an example, the state should enrol more skilled educators so that they can change the mindset of the prisoners. If the system doesn't work and the criminal doesn't show any resentment the sentence should be postponed. In conclusion, poverty and the lack of ethics are the causes of
this
 problem and measures to solve them should be enforced by the government.
Submitted by leokuwayama03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: