Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the advancement in medical technology, the average life expectancy is increasing worldwide.
However
, people in some areas still have premature
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
show examples
because of the unaffordable price of healthcare. There is
also
a debate on whether
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pharmaceutical
companies
should lower the
Change noun form
drugs
show examples
Change noun form
drugs
show examples
drugs'
Fix the agreement mistake
drug'
show examples
prices in
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
undeveloped
countries
. In my opinion, I believe that the
companies
should reduce the cost of their products in some
countries
.
This
essay will cover arguments that support my view.
Firstly
, the
companies
also
gain a profit from more access to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medicine, as in more income.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
countries
normally have a large
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population
due to
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
alternatives in reproduction control methods, the lower price can
resulted
Change the verb form
result
show examples
in millions of
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
in return, which possibly make a large sum of
millions
Add the preposition
millions of
show examples
dollars.
Hence
, they could still produce the same amount of profit with altered
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
in some areas.
Moreover
, another benefit is more data on the
medicine
Change noun form
medicine's
show examples
effectiveness, which they can
further
research and develop the formula.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
poor
countries
located in Asia and Africa, the efficacy and potency of drugs can be different between races.
Therefore
, with more access to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medicine, there will be a large amount of useful information that can be gathered to develop better products. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pharmacy
companies
still have other form of benefits from lowering the prices,
such
as more customers and income, and an opportunity to acquire the information that can be used to create a better product, which I personally think
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
worth
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
comparable to the profit they have lost for.
Submitted by pimpisut.sata on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure to answer the question directly and elaborate on your points more comprehensively. Provide more specific examples and elaborate on how these examples support your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on linking ideas more smoothly between paragraphs and within them. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument more effectively. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pharmaceuticals
  • Generic drugs
  • Patent laws
  • Healthcare disparity
  • Subsidies
  • Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs)
  • Intellectual property
  • Epidemiology
  • Affordability
  • Global health initiatives
  • Corporate social responsibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: