Freashwater has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of this increased demand, and what measures could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?

Nowadays, the increasing
demand
for freshwater across the globe is making it become a more scarce resource.
This
essay aims to discuss the reasons for
this
growing
demand
and
Correct word choice
how
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what
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how
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governments and individuals can take action to respond to the problem. In the following, two reasons will be discussed with respective measures. The first cause of the increased freshwater
demand
is
due to
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public wasting habits. Since people are getting rich and the world tends to be in a relatively peace condition unlike the wars always happening in the past, they are more affordable to limited resources like freshwater with a stable supply.
Therefore
, they tend to take freshwater
to
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for
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be
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granted and often neglect the evidence that freshwater is limited, which makes them less treasure about it and increases the use with unnecessary waste. To tackle
with
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this
problem, it is suggested that the government should educate the public on the concept of cherishing limited
fresh water
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freshwater
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or holding campaigns to make the public
to
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participate in treasuring it in their daily lives.
Moreover
, the climbing agricultural use of freshwater is contributing to the increased
demand
of
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for
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fresh water. Agriculture is always consuming the largest consumption of freshwater, and
due to
population growth, it
also
increases the resources input in agriculture and in
turn
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turn,
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grows the
demand
of
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for
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freshwater. To reduce the freshwater used for agricultural purposes, it is recommended that SMART technology should be adopted in the industry so that freshwater can be recycled and reused in a sustainable way in order to decrease
the
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unnecessary waste
of
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it
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. To summarize, public and industry sectors can both lead to the
demand
for freshwater to be increased. By facing the scarce supply of
freshwater
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fresh water
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, the government and individuals can mitigate the problem through education and technology applications.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively, discussing both causes and measures for increased freshwater demand. However, your response would benefit from more specific examples and data to support your points.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is mostly coherent and easy to follow, some sentences could be clearer. For instance, 'the world tends to be in a relatively peace condition' can be rephrased to 'the world is generally more peaceful now' for better clarity. Also, ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, remember to proofread for minor grammar and vocabulary errors. Phrases like 'tackle with this problem' should be 'tackle this problem', and 'take freshwater to be granted' should be 'take freshwater for granted'.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets out what the essay will address, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed.
task achievement
You effectively highlighted the role both public habits and agricultural use play in the increased demand for freshwater.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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