Some people think one should stay all their life in the same job, whereas others advocate changing jobs from time to time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #life #job #advocate #jobs #time

Some individuals believe employees should stay in the same

job

rest of their lives,

while

others support

job

hopping frequently. In my opinion, switching jobs is better than

stay

Change the verb form

staying

show examples

in the same

job

for

life

, because it is

opportunity

Correct article usage

an opportunity

show examples

to step out comfort zone and

development

Replace the word

develop

show examples

. On the one hand, some believe that

stay

Wrong verb form

staying

show examples

in the same

job

for all

life

can be less stressful.

This

is because work will become repetitive and it

easy

Add a missing verb

is easy

show examples

to deal with it, which means easy to achieve to work-

life

balance.

Furthermore

, working in the same organization for all

life

can provide financial security for

workers

In other words

, employees can have

Correct article usage

a gradually

show examples

gradually

Change the word

gradual

show examples

increase in their salaries and

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

pension when they retire.

On the other hand

, I believe

change

Wrong verb form

changing

show examples

the

job

from time to time can have positive impacts.

Firstly

emoplyees

Correct your spelling

employees

employers

can step out

their

Change preposition

of their

show examples

comfort zone, which means

this

allows

workers

growth

Replace the word

grow

show examples

and learn new things.

For example

workers

who work in different companies can have

a new responsibilities

Correct the article-noun agreement

a new responsibility

new responsibilities

show examples

than employees who stay in

same

Change the article

the same

show examples

job

Moreover

, some people prefer to change their jobs in order to have better development

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

namely,

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

best

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

wages, promotions, positive environment, which means ,

development

Correct word choice

that development

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

can help

empolyees

Correct your spelling

employees

Verb problem

apply

show examples

accomplish

job-satisfation

Correct your spelling

job-satisfaction

As a result

this

can

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

increase

Wrong verb form

increased

show examples

productivity among

workers

. In conclusion, in my perspective,

job

hopping is better than staying

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

same

job

for all

life

Change preposition

of life

show examples

, because it is a chance for people to take risks and growth,

then

assist them to achieve

job-fulfillment

Correct your spelling

job fulfilment

show examples

Submitted by faiz3177 on Fri Jun 23 2023

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task response

Ensure that all main points are directly relevant to the task and are fully developed.

coherence and cohesion

Provide a clear structure with logical progression of ideas and cohesive devices.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think one should stay all their life in the same job, whereas others advocate changing jobs from time to time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

As the demand for oil and gas continues to rise, there is a growing need to explore these energy sources in remote locations. Do you believe the benefits of exploiting these areas outweigh the drawbacks of causing environmental damage? 4.5

In some countries today, children are taught from a young age that competition is important and that winning is everything. Is this a positive or a negative development?

More and more young people are using drugs and alcohol these days. What are the causes of this problem? What are some possible solutions?