IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

#professionals #doctors #teachers #countries #work #situation
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Development in professional life is the aim of everyone in
this
Linking Words
 hectic world.People
moves
Change the verb form
move
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 from their native land to overseas for upgrading
the
Change the word
their
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 lifestyle and standard of living.There is a new trend in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society,that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young employers like doctors and teachers
migrates
Change the verb form
migrate
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 to other developed
countries
Use synonyms
 to work.
This
Linking Words
 essay
discuss
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discusses
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about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the problems
Correct pronoun usage
that arised
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arised
Correct your spelling
arise
arisen
raised
 because of
such
Linking Words
 migrations and how
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
 can be alleviated. Job holders
moves
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move
show examples
 to other nations, leaving their homeland behind in search of outstanding quality of life.
Firstly
Linking Words
,the bulk departure of the folks
affect
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affects
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 the motherland with the lack of enthusiastic younger workers on whom the nation may rely for future expansion and evolution which
inturn
Correct your spelling
in turn
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 the land more poor.
Secondly
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,as the candidates resettle somewhere rich,the number of taxpayers
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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 less in
count
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the count
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 and that will again devastate the country into
miserable
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a miserable
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 situation like financial debt. To tackle
this
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 situation,the government of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
these
countries
Use synonyms
 should associate campaigns to provide awareness about the valuable contribution they can make
for
Change preposition
to
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 the native land.
Additionally
Linking Words
,poorer
countries
Use synonyms
 can seek
for
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apply
show examples
national
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
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 to get support to enrich the professionals with attractive salaries and resources.
To conclude
Linking Words
,lack of proper remuneration or basic amenities are the reasons that prevent people
staying
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from staying
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 in the fatherland and
traveling
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travelling
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over
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to
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 other places to make their future safe.Nations can work for each other to upbringing the backward
countries
Use synonyms
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic support and I believe that many will choose to live in their own homeland if enough awareness is given about the future of the country.
Submitted by feby19961996 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Skilled professionals
  • Healthcare systems
  • Education systems
  • Economic growth
  • Dependency on foreign aid
  • Social inequality
  • Quality healthcare
  • Quality education
  • Retain talent
  • International cooperation
  • Sustainable growth
  • Scholarships
  • Professional development
  • Remote work capabilities
  • Local research funding
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