IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think one should stay all their life in the same job, whereas others advocate changing jobs from time to time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is said a one-club profession or changing jobs has been criticised on several online platforms for many years,
therefore
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, a variety of opinions will exist.
Whereas
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 it depends on what they believe. I partially agree with both sides. On one hand, sustainable income is the priority for most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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workers,
therefore
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, the most appropriate solution is finding a career that suits their family, lifestyle and behaviour.
For instance
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, the distance from the office to the accommodation can be another factor
to decide
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in deciding
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 that
this
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 job
suit
Correct subject-verb agreement
suits
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to
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apply
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the lifestyle.
Furthermore
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, the atmosphere at the office can give an important contribution to not changing the job because the existence of a good colleague and a boss can build a comfortable feeling and increase the competitive mentality for the worker to develop the organization together.
On the other hand
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, everyone can be bored,
thus
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, changing their profession is of the opinion that will revive their productivity and passion.
For instance
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, staying in the same place for several years will reduce their passion,
therefore
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, they decide to resign from their old place and face new challenges.
Moreover
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,
instead
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 of working for their entire
life not existed in nowadays
Verb problem
lives today's
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 generation.
Whereas
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, they tend to spend the rest of their life travelling with their family or following their dream.
For example
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, regardless of money, in their elder life, they appreciate travelling to the place they haven't gone to yet and spending their savings money. In conclusion,
this
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 issue depends on the personal belief.
Someone
Correct your spelling
Some
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 believes that royalty is the most important,
whereas
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 other believe that their productivity and passion are more important than royalty.

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing the ideas in a clearer and more cohesive manner. Pay attention to the development and connection of the main points.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the prompt, but needs to provide a more comprehensive and clear response to the task, supported by relevant and specific examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • job security
  • stability
  • financial insecurity
  • expertise
  • advance their careers
  • promotions
  • pay raises
  • recognition
  • personal and professional growth
  • work environments
  • responsibilities
  • skill set
  • adaptability
  • job satisfaction
  • mental health
  • stuck
  • stagnant
  • lucrative
  • job offers
  • commitment
  • instability
  • retirement plans
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