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There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work
Students are under stress
due to
 the need to succeed in their examinations,
therefore
 some people think it is a good idea to remove other activities from the syllabus. In
this
 essay, I will explain why I strongly disagree with
this
 statement. Performing practical skills will facilitate better learning.
This
 is because when a student takes a break and
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise, their neuronal network gets consolidated, which means they will be able to recall the information faster during a test. To illustrate
this
, an experiment was done on mice, where mice who were allowed to roam free after going through a maze were able to recall the maze faster than those mice who were not allowed to roam free. Thereby reinforcing the idea that physical activity is essential for memory.
Furthermore
, undertaking classes which help with daily living,
such
 as cooking, will aid the youth
further
 down the line.
This
 is because
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
 a university setting,
freshman
Fix the agreement mistake
freshmen
show examples
 will be independent
therefore
Correct word choice
and therefore
show examples
 will need to accomplish daily chores on their own.
For instance
, a bright pupil gets accepted into Oxford
university
Correct your spelling
University
show examples
, but they not have the skills required to live on their own.
Hence
, rather than concentrating on
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
, they will have to take out time to learn the skills to survive. In conclusion, extracurricular activities should not be taken out from primary schools because
this
 improves the youth's learning process and it is beneficial for graduates to deal with daily tasks which require no academic knowledge.
Overall
,
this
 will reduce the stress that the next generation will face and it will aid in their concentration.
Submitted by ibrahim_zaman on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
What to do next:
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