There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work

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Students are under stress

due to

Linking Words

the need to succeed in their examinations,

therefore

Linking Words

some people think it is a good idea to remove other activities from the syllabus. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explain why I strongly disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement. Performing practical skills will facilitate better learning.

This

Linking Words

is because when a student takes a break and

does

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

exercise, their neuronal network gets consolidated, which means they will be able to recall the information faster during a test. To illustrate

this

Linking Words

, an experiment was done on mice, where mice who were allowed to roam free after going through a maze were able to recall the maze faster than those mice who were not allowed to roam free. Thereby reinforcing the idea that physical activity is essential for memory.

Furthermore

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, undertaking classes which help with daily living,

such

Linking Words

as cooking, will aid the youth

further

Linking Words

down the line.

This

Linking Words

is because

Add the comma(s)

,in

show examples

a university setting,

freshman

Fix the agreement mistake

freshmen

show examples

will be independent

Linking Words

therefore

Correct word choice

and therefore

show examples

will need to accomplish daily chores on their own.

For instance

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, a bright pupil gets accepted into Oxford

university

Correct your spelling

University

show examples

, but they not have the skills required to live on their own.

Hence

Linking Words

, rather than concentrating on

studies

Correct pronoun usage

their studies

show examples

, they will have to take out time to learn the skills to survive. In conclusion, extracurricular activities should not be taken out from primary schools because

this

Linking Words

improves the youth's learning process and it is beneficial for graduates to deal with daily tasks which require no academic knowledge.

Overall

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this

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will reduce the stress that the next generation will face and it will aid in their concentration.

Submitted by ibrahim_zaman on Sat Jun 24 2023

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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Fully explain your ideas

Many countries offer a free health care system to their citizens rather than relying on private health care. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having a free system, and give your opinion. Write at least 250 words.

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

ome families send their children to a foreign country to be educated. Discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this course of action. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.